Fathers and Their Affects in our lives

01-Jul-21 04:37am
Maria B 89860
I am the eldest by 7years then had 2brothers and there's 2years between them, so I was "mum" to them when our mum went to work for a while. She worked "broken shift" at old folks home starting at 6am then came home during the day and went back to help feed them at dinner time, while I fed our mob, helped them with their homework, tidied up and then did my our homework.. So a bit similar family life to your situation. Our dad, well he was around so that made an extra one for me to cater to until I saved up enough (was working by then) we finally bundled up and left him, the family home and paid rent so could a bit of a peaceful life. When I say I saved up enough, this was after he had given me my bank book with $1 in it, just enough to keep it from being closed as he had put his name on it as well and withdrew the lot. Well anyway, I've lived to tell the tale, well some of it anyway.
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30-Jun-21 22:36pm
malcolm 516503
my father is an absolute spoiled brat narcissist so and so and has screwed half my life thanks old boy I still forgive you
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30-Jun-21 20:51pm
Priscilla R 316016
Had a wonderful father - he taught me to have a work ethic, and also to cook, and always had time for me. Unfortunately he died of mesothelioma just as he should have been enjoying a wonderful retirement. His grandchildren adored him and his loss is still so great so many years later.
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30-Jun-21 20:48pm
Karen J 429574
my father passed away when i was 8 what id of done to have him here sometimes growing up ive needed that father figure but i guess it wasnt to b
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30-Jun-21 20:43pm
Louisa W
Used to talk to my dad but now not anymore.
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30-Jun-21 19:27pm
Queenbee
My dad walked out of my life when I was 10 which was very upsetting as we were left in a half built house with no income. I always thought how my life would have been so very different had he been there for us. He missed my wedding, my kids birth etc etc . After 45 years we managed to track him down, as he had even changed his name. I sent him several letters ,spoke weekly on the phone and met him once with my husband and my 3 daughters. It made it easy to forgive him and realise that you can’t change the past . We were going to met up again but he passed away. I am so glad that we had that short time together again.
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30-Jun-21 19:15pm
Edith v
I had a great loving relationship with my Father .I have married a man with different language,religion & political views.The tolerance & ability to compromise my Father showed & taught me ,has given me 59yrs of a great marriage
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30-Jun-21 17:09pm
Alex H 487498
iT DEPENDS ON THE FATHER AND SOME ARE LUCKY TO HAVE A SUPPortive family
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30-Jun-21 16:51pm
Lones
Some are lucky to belong to a loving family with a father figure, also grandparents step up along with older siblings these days. Others don’t have a father figure, but other role models. Whom ever is your father figure, be grateful, as others struggle with life everyday. My father was a great role model, to both myself and my siblings, and his grandkids, and other family members. We forget sometimes how grateful we should be for having family. Once they’re are gone, too late to live with regrets. For those whom don’t know there fathers or mothers, be grateful for those that step up and take on the role to guide us in life.
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30-Jun-21 16:50pm
Ellen C 69679
My father is an addict who had quite a toxic affect on my life as well as my brothers, we are still picking up the pieces to this day. We've tried to work on that relationship but unfortunately dad just falls back into the same patterns. I was very lucky to have my Grandfather as a father figure. He is without doubt the kindest, gentlest and most loving man I've ever come across. I learnt everything about healthy relationships from watching him and my Grandmother, and swore I would marry a man with the same qualities as him. I am so so lucky to have him as a role model and don't know where I would've ended up without him.
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30-Jun-21 16:43pm
Maureen G-Melb.Vic.
i think a good father figure is very important in our lives, I miss my stepfather very much, it was not always easy but he had an impact on my life
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30-Jun-21 15:19pm
Mooi
My dad is deceased, he died before his time. I love my dad but he had a drinking problem. As he got older though as long as he didn't have a drink he changed. He was an alcoholic but would never admit it. His era, was the woman's place was in the kitchen and children didn't answer their parents back. You did as you were told and you lived in fear of what mum would say "when dad gets home". He loved my children and only got to see my youngest to the age of three. He would be extremely proud of them now and being a great grandfather too if he had lived. Rest in Peace dad, you had your problems but they weren't all your fault. I hope we get to discuss mothers in our lives too. Edited 30-Jun-21 15:20pm
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30-Jun-21 15:02pm
peter w 94893
Nice story. The way families should be.
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30-Jun-21 14:54pm
Jennifer S 320468
I had my dad on a pedestal. When he died from cancer it broke my heart
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30-Jun-21 14:00pm
Wendy Q
My dad was my best friend too. I did cheeky things to him, like putting caterpillars on his cabbages, because I thought they were hungry. But he never got mad with me.
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30-Jun-21 13:29pm
lulu
as a girl i thought my dad so strong and handsome, then grew up and saw hubby x
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30-Jun-21 13:25pm
Katzeye
My dad was never a loving father or grandfather for that matter because he was and still is too wrapped up in his own life so long story short my dad had an affair on my mum with the next door neighbour when I was 8 years old which destroyed our family and unfortunately it has never been right since with family get togethers when both my parents need to be present sadly.
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30-Jun-21 13:07pm
Roslyn A
I was invisible to both parents really; as one of nine children it is only the baby of the time that gets attention. Then my father died when I was 14 so I never really got to know him.
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30-Jun-21 13:01pm
Shirley H 391879
My father did not see me. I was invisible. He only wanted his sons. I never had a hug from him. He was a womaniser and my parents divorced when I was 10. Back then divorce was a no-no. He never came to see me. As a result I don’t trust men. At all. Shame really
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30-Jun-21 12:14pm
Sonya F 68771
i have lost both parents now and i do miss them i wish i spoke to them more about our heritage
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30-Jun-21 12:05pm
Larry S 382961
My dad was a strict stickler to rules. I think it came from his father who was Danish and what I have been told they were bad times to grow up. Probably goes back to Hagar the horrible times. My temperament is totally opposite. I have a 6 year old grandson and it tears me apart knowing he is hurting someway Yes I am a softy but that is my nature
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30-Jun-21 11:20am
Amber 22
They OK it the mother's in law that the b
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30-Jun-21 10:41am
Helen E 469767
Boys need a good father or a father figure
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30-Jun-21 10:33am
JANN R
I LOST MY DAD 30 YEARS AGO BUT UP TILL THEN HE WAS THE BEST FATHER TO ALL OF US WE WERE BROUGHT UP ON A FARM AND HE TOUGHT US THE VALUES IN LIFE AND HOW TO WORK ON THE FARM HE IS STILL WITH US IN SPIRT
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30-Jun-21 10:33am
Gaza
No comment as my Dad was an a-hole.
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30-Jun-21 10:31am
Rod R 101788
My Father wasn't a dad to me. Makes me wanting to be dad to my kids harder because I have no role model to base it on. Trying - not always succeeding. Raising good humans doesn't necessarily take 2 parents but it does require good role models.
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30-Jun-21 10:14am
Christine M 323842
My dad is hilarious. No one can ever make me laugh as much as my dad. Even when he’s not trying he’s funny. He’s the only person who can lift me up when I’m wallowing in a hole. He is so imperfect and human, and compassionate.
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30-Jun-21 10:04am
Debbie W 69651
My father was a quite man but did take an interest in anything we did. He encouraged us to be our own person and to live a full and worthwhile life. My parents showed me you don't have to have everything in life to be happy.
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30-Jun-21 09:59am
Nico D
I didn’t have a father figure though had 2 fathers bio and step, neither were there for me ! So I have not much trust, faith in men in general - no offence intended to males here, that’s just the lenses I was dealt as a child . My children’s father is no where to be seen either abandoning his responsibilities for sake of an affair so this has added to and fuelled my synopsis of men .
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30-Jun-21 09:24am
John b 479999
My dad is a kind and fair man.
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30-Jun-21 09:12am
Stephen F 84899
My father become my best friend
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30-Jun-21 08:31am
Frank N
Good fathers are an absolute asset.
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30-Jun-21 08:16am
Robin L 79437
A father is just as important as a mother
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- 02-Jul-21 15:30pm
  Edith v
  Without one or the other we wouldn't be here
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30-Jun-21 07:02am
Claude H
I was lucky to have a great Father & Mother
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30-Jun-21 06:33am
Naf
My father has lived in the same house but I've barely talked to him because he would always show anger for no reason and out of nowhere. So that made me distant from him. He also enabled my mom's abuse.
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- 02-Jul-21 15:38pm
  Edith v
  I disagree with many of the comments your Father must have had something bad happen to him Naf.If he wants contact with you now I would not turn him away .To do that you are doing what he has done to you & your siblings don't go down to that level .You be yourself kind & loving & maybe get to know him .Life is too short to bear grudges .
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- 03-Jul-21 08:45am
  NafEdith v
  So by your logic, he did bad to me too so that means I can go around doing bad to other people? Good people are those who don't let bad things make them bad. Plus I'm one of a few siblings, so it doesn't really matter if he talks to me or not because he surely enjoys my siblings company. Please don't devalue and undermine my hurt feelings. He always acted like he is the parent and authority, then maybe act like a grown up too, not just be old by age. I was an obedient daughter yet he never fulfilled his responsibility. My mom despite being abusive, did all the work raising us. He was just there as a name and nothing more. Now that I'm grown up and my mom did all the hard work, he wants to be in my life? Why did he not try to talk to me before when I lived with them? It isn't about holding grudges. I hope you won't have to go through trauma when you have no one even cousins, aunts, uncles etc to save you from your abusive parents. Till this day, he still dismisses me when I complain to him about how my mom character assassinates me so tell me again how I should forgive him? Forgiving someone should mean that they stop abusing you and dismissing you which he hasn't stopped. He also cares more about his nieces and nephews than his own kids. There is more that I can speak up about but only people who have been abused would understand it. He is the father and he surely used and abused his authority, so then he should be the one trying to ask me how I'm feeling especially when I lived with them. But he supported my mom and enabled her when she was being abusive. If I was a bad child then maybe that can warrant that, but they're so ungrateful. Now I want peace in my life, not their unending drama. Edited 03-Jul-21 08:52am
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30-Jun-21 05:58am
BLACK LIVES MATTER
My biologically-father, step-father, step-mom, and birth-mom were negative influences in my life (became a teen-ager runaway). I do not have siblings older than me. Hence, I can not be objective when it comes to answering your question!
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30-Jun-21 05:20am
Sandra B 546769
I want to say that fathers and mothers affect my lives because they helped me in getting an education, in giving everything that I need
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30-Jun-21 05:05am
Sue2
Its my mother that affected my life. She told me from very early on, she was disappointed the day I was born as I wasnt the 3rd son she had to have. She told me, I was fat, ugly, dumb, stupid would amount to nothing in life. She said, when Sue was born she was so ugly we threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth. She refused to name me, so after 2 weeks Dad named me. She said the only kind of man I will ever attract into my life will be blind and handicapped, so he wont see how ugly Iam and will be more intelligent than me. When it came out that I had been sexually abused and raped for years by my eldest brother, she went into overdrive to help, protect and support him, she did nothing for me. My Dad died on a Tuesday, my mother sent my other brother around on the Friday to tell me, after the funeral. I found out through an Aunty, that my mother got all the people that she wanted to the hospital to see Dad and say their goodbyes, my son and I werent asked. I miss my Dad and think of him every day, he was a weak man and my mother loved that, she treated him so badly. Dad was a good man.
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- 30-Jun-21 10:08am
  Christine M 323842
  Sue You seem to have a really clear perspective of what has happened to you at the hands of your family. I like that. I really like that you have the courage to not only face the trauma that you have endured, but that you can share your experiences with us. From the picture you have drawn of your mother, I would have to say that she is the one who is blind and handicapped.
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30-Jun-21 04:13am
Sheree T
My dad was a fantastic dad, we were bought up on a diary farm and I use to follow him everywhere on the farm from a very young age I was the third youngest of seven children. By the time I was ten I could run the cowshed for milking, feed the calves, drive the tractor and so many other things. He taught me commitment, doing things always to the best of your ability. Never give up, care for the animals. I remember him often saying to me that at the end of the day you know you have done the very best that you can and be proud of that. I miss my dad very much still after all these years.
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30-Jun-21 03:57am
kristian s 513441
My real dad were not in my life when I were growing up until I were a teenager than he came if my life. I really don't have good memories about him at all during my childhood.
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30-Jun-21 03:33am
beverly w 540992
my dad was a great dad, very hard worker but always around. every xmas we would pack up and dad used to take us camping for two weeks(great memories) but we lost him to soon at the age of 59 but by that time the 5 eldest of us children were all married but it was hard all the same, but we still had mum around until she passed away at the end of last year aged 98,
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30-Jun-21 00:38am
Julie K 348980
My father died when I was four and I do not remember him at all. My mother and I (plus my two sisters) got on well so I can’t really say I missed having a father around.
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30-Jun-21 00:24am
Linda C
I had a lovely father also. Very respectful of women and he came from a large family with a number of sisters as well as brothers. There were 4 of us daughters and we knew we could rely on him but we lost him way too soon. Unfortunately, we did not marry well and 3 of our husbands were/are far from good fathers.
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