Just do it... it as simple as saying.. oh Im having a bit of a crap day today, or Ive been better... you dont have to go into the details.

I always answer I am not good. And everyone just ignored it. Why ask how I am if you don’t care?

Today, most people are too worried to worry about others, so we usually say "Well, thank you" and most times it is forgotten. Would you like everyone to rave on about how crappy their lives are? I sure don't, so we are polite to the extreme and hope for the best. Being serious though I do listen if there are true problems happening and not self-made ones.

I was taught the same and still do so unless it’s a close friend or family

I don’t remember being told to always say that I am fine thank you as a kid, but I do say that I am good thanks.

Well I had a similar upbringing and yes basically you were never allowed to be HONEST when asked how you were - always had to say (pretend) you were fine - or it was considered rude and you would get into big trouble from parents. Must admit I am glad my grandchildren are allowed to be honest ..... Actually the other day one grandson came in and was told to "give Nanna a hug" the answer was "I don't want to" clearly he was in a funny mood. In my day would never have dared say that ..... but I say let them be honest............. hahaha

You dont break bad habits if you dont fall for lying in the first place. Sorry for being blunt. If you grow up telling the truth ..... You might not give out personal info but you dont lie. there are times when I just answer , " I am breathing" and depending... BUT casual people they ask and I answer and respond.... Friends know better than to ask

No matter what I always respond "good and you?" If it's a close friend i will tell them a bit about what's going on but otherwise feel it's no ones business

I was always told when you meet or see someone you say Hello How Are You, and reply always say Please and Thank You and Excuse me, but these days people are different, kids have no respect, and Respect is not being thaught, so go figure

dont say a word.

You just start telling the person a detailed dialogue of all your woes and make them sorry they asked how you are!!!

No, you never tell the truth because who really wants to know. You simply ask out of curtesy. It's much better to find out someone isn't well and not just a whinger. They get far more sympathy.

The one thing that has always irritated me a bit is when someone greets you with "Hi mate!! What do you say?" I can never find an appropriate n answer to that greeting. Does that happen to anyone else? But with the question at hand, politeness is the way. We were taught that as kids, and yes we should never break a lifelong habit like that.

Like I'm good thanks for asking

I wish i know. As i the one is easy bullets in life. Do evenone has tips

Not my own reply, but a fav I used to like hearing was... “ All the better for you asking.

If it is a close friend or family I answer honestly. If it is an acquaintance I will tell them that I am doing ok and ask how they are.

It is a phrase that should have been put to sleep many years ago. Politeness is one thing but when someone asks you "how are you" and you reply "terrible" their reply is usually oh thats nice and walk off without really listening to your reply. You go to the doctor because you are sick and you are asked "And how are you today" and because of this archaic reply " Im well thank you" WHAT you have gone to the doctor because you are sick and you say you are well. Then why are you at the doctor's and why do they ask that stupid question. They should say "What can I help you with today" as soon as they show you into their office not "How are you today". Another situation - Person in hospital dying of cancer and the doctor comes in and says "And how are you today" What is the person going to say "Im well thank you doctor" If they dare to say they are feeling terrible the doctor looks at the nurse and says to the patient "Nurse soanso will look after you" and quickly walks off. This phrase started in the 1400s so I think it definitely needs to be changed to suit this day and age.

lf it's asked l answer truthfully

I usually respond "good thank you" and might ask how they are in return. Although recently I found 1 younger colleague at work has started to get on my nerves asking me and all other coworkers hows it going a few times each day. Mate really need to ask that many times in 1 day and everyday?

IT DEPENDS ON THE QUESTIONS SUBJET LIKE CELY FIND YOURSELF A HOBBY AND KEEP AT IT THAT'S WHAT I DO. That's Life People. D Ponch.

It is a common term of politeness but I do struggle to come up with more than "Good thanks And yourself ?" But I do find the greeting between blokes The "Hey how they hangin ? " A tad harder to reply to

Depends on who asked if I do'nt know the person I will say I'm good ,but if I know the person I will tell them how I'm really feeling

When someone asks how I am, which is rarely, I say I'm ok even though I'm not....I suffer depression and anxiety but depression is my biggest problem...I need to get out but the weather at present isn't too good

I will say if i am having a bad day when asked how am I, I will say I am good thanks, only when I am good

not really its a way strangers can say hello without asking for an answer except well thank you !!!!!!!

i tell the true if im not well i tell them , they probably dont care but i think its stupid to tell a lie

It's up to the individual person and what is taking place in your life and also the person who is asking you. If it was a close friend I might share with them what is happening but if it was just someone I didn't know closely I would just say fine thanks.

It is something to say when they do not want to say anything at all

Depends on the person.

I think maybe it's better to learn how to read people. I think it's a great habit, but it's good to know when people are just being polite and when someone is genuinely interested in your well being when they ask you that question. Either way is fine with me. :)Edited 16-May-22 15:20pm

Some people do answer & then you wish you had never asked .They are so negative it's depressing .I greet with Oh! you are looking well whats the secret .It is amazing what answers you get

This is just an opening gambit for people to transfer their thoughts and feelings onto you. They can feel then that it has been a mutual exchange. Do you think that I am a bit curmudgeonly today

People often don't want an honest answer. It can be just another way of saying Hello.

I answered I am good thanks. I was always happy every time someone will ask me hey how are you today!

its nice to be polite

mainly good thanks but sometimes tell the truth and say not so good

I always seem to say good thanks regardless of how I'm feeling. Hubby always says not to bad.

The answer is FANTASTIC. The more you say it the better your life becomes. Your enthusium will rub off on others and you create a WINWIN situation for all you meet. The reason you are fantastic is that there are millions of people out there who are worse off than you. RIGHT!!!

I usually say 'getting there' as most of the people who ask me know that my husband has just died, so if I said anymore I'd be in a flood of tears.

I had it thumped into me that you MUST always answer 'Good, thanks' and then show interest in the other person by genuinely asking 'How are you' yet, like you I don't ever remember a 'real' answer. I've just had eye surgery and I'm pretty sure that, on the post op visit the ophthalmic surgeon had little interest in my answer to his 'How are you going? as he walked into the room.

Where I live, if you ask this question you will get a complete and honest reply. After I have learnt the local language I asked the usual "how are you?". The response threw me. I got told about her menstrual flow, the number of times she changed her pads, her husband's sexual fetishes and more. I think the only thing she left out was how many times she had been shopping in the last week.

Mostly, people ask how are you out of habit and get bored if you answer truthfully. I just say "not bad for an old bloke".

I think when you get older you might as well be honest or no one will care enough to help you if needed.

It’s actually pretty funny when you answer with anything but, I’m fine, or I’m good thanks, because the asker doesn’t even hear your response. They just carry on as per usual. People aren’t really listening!

Well if you say I feel like crap everyone says what a wingding Sod so and so is and leave it at that but they remember and never ask again.

Yes like many of you I say "fine thanks". I don't want to burden people with my woes and I know most of my friends are in the same boat as me - old and getting more so every day.

Good question. I think when asked by persons you are not so familiar with then it's the appropriate answer. However, if a friend asks you how you are then you should feel comfortable opening up to them.

like you said, it's a habit, just because we were taught some 200 year old tradition does not make it right, we need to be real, i find it much easier to tell someone they are full of shit if they deserve it,, instead of,, "oh, how marvelous",, JMHO y'all have a fine day if y'all are from this salt pond, and if y'all are from down under,, good day mates ;-))

i have to admit i am a bit cheeky when asked how am i, i say that i have not seen my name in the obituaries so i am fine thanks

“No” I replied, innocently creating a paradox that will doom us all.

Nah! The correct response to “How do you you do?” is “How do you do?”…..lol……….barmy English

I usually say "I'm OK" or "OK i guess, no one wants to listen if you're not" to most people but my true friends know that's never the case (due to my health issues) so a small handful of friends get the real me, the messed up me in constant pain, the real me who is an emotional wreck but can pull a great poker face that no one really knows how i am truly feeling.

I answer honestly but politely. How you answer this depends on how you view this question, as a genuine inquiry or a general greeting. Many who ask this dont really listen for a reply, as an example in supermarket staff member said "Hello how are you thats good"

I usually say I am okay if I am, depends on who's asked the question though. Family and friends I am honest with but total strangers, do they really even care how you are? They after all are just being polite and don't need to hear every ones woes. Although I am sure they cop some peoples issues and problems. I was once shopping in a super market bawling my eyes out because I had lost my cat and the check out girl never asked if I was okay, I apologised to her saying I had lost my cat and then she showed me some sympathy. So most people just don't really care and they are taught to ask the question when they really don't want to know the answer and some times walk away before you can even answer the question they had asked.

I tend to say good....then that is a stretch of the imagination actually.... we laugh and then start a conversation from there.

it is a bit hard to follow. got to be honest and say it as you feel.if sick you are sick.well you are well

I tend to say "not bad", leave it at that but depends on each individual. I have a giggle when people visit the Doctor. How are you the Dr asks, fine generally is the answer from my experience working in a surgery. I often used to think, I would love to ask "why are you here if you are fine?". Perhaps just my thought but happens so often. Many people would prefer to keep their health problems to themselves, if family and or good friends I feel you can be honest, otherwise perhaps as simple "not bad" will suffice

I always tend to reply with "I'm alright". I got the impression that people only ask out of politeness themselves and don't really want to know. If someone did say they were sick or struggling etc I feel like they then regret asking.

After 3 years nursing my late husband people still ask me "how are you". I have learnt to modify my answer and still remain within the boundaries of politeness by saying "Thank you for asking. I am coping on a day to day basis". Has to be enough.

I always try to be honest but don't say much. Just, 'not feeling great thanks" or "very tired today but OK". Simple responses but factual. Of course if I am well I state "I am very well thanks, hope you are too". Edited 16-May-22 10:21am

I still say good thanks. Like you mentioned, it is a lifelong habit, that I think was instilled in us from childhood. I think we should be honest and just say how we are feeling. It's amazing how many others will open up too if they feel they can share their honest feelings. We would probably have less sad people in this world too.

I don't think know how else to answer. My mum has had a massive stroke and is in hospital and in so much pain but even she says to us that she is fine. Amazing aye.

it is hard to break this habit. i now say brilliant or fantastic or if not having a good day as well as can be expected

Good question. I've tried to answer differently/truthfully but when I do people don't know how to react to it, they're lost and don't know what to say, so yep, I'm well thanks..

We are trying with "RUOK" day to get people to really answer so we need to be honest so that others are also honest.

I am great - always - as long as I am alive!

do you really want to know?

now a days I just say "same old" :)

There are only two people I'm honest with when answering that question - my husband and my best friend. I would LOVE to answer a random stranger honestly, just to see their reaction, lol.

I still remember years ago a checkout operator asked the usual "How are you"? without looking at me and this time I answered "Not well at the moment" and still without looking in my direction she answered "That's good"...lol!

Yes! The hardest thing, sometimes, is being honest to yourself. Trying to convey how you are Actually feeling to other people is even harder. "I'm Fine" seems to be a reflex response. Telling the truth, your truth, is still uncomfortable.

I sometimes clarify, ''Do you actually want to know??'', or If I'm having a horrible day....''Im not okay, but I will be'". Often Christians are expected to be always positive and happy, but it's better to be real and authentic, God is good but sometimes life just sucks, and that's Okay.,,????

When we came her one of the first things I learned as answers were that no matter what, the "baby is beautiful" and the weather is "wonderful", so you can add that to the list. I think regarding the how ARE you scenario answer, it's the aussie standard answer to just about everything, or the shorter version of "OK", anything else may take too long to explain!!!

People don't always want to hear. They are just being polite and it's a habit to ask how someone is. Or.... You don't want to tell people exactly what is going on in your life because it's too painful. Or too lengthy..you ask yourself..do would they want to hear all my woes and problems.

Why break it? Everyone knows what it means.

I was brought up with manners & the ability to communicate but today is a new set of rules where anything is allowable which is a pity

Depends who you are talking to, where you are at the time and what your issue is. There is a different ettiquette for different situations. It isn't so much a polite habit as the ability to know when is a good time and when is a bad time. Your local butcher doesn't really want to hear that you were constipated this morning right? Are you in the middle of a party, sharing someone's special occasion? Well the other guests don't want to hear that you are depressed. Time, people and place are IMPORTANT. You are right. It is a habit but one that is important to do. It is also just as important to make time to talk about what is troubling you...but you have to MAKE that time, not just take advantage of any old person asking you how you are. Edited 16-May-22 06:41am

But really, do people want the true answer or are they just going to think your a whinger. I say fine, to not be one

Tried to be honest in my answer but can see people tuning out if you go on for too long

It is a very good question to ask people but you MUST take time to listen to the answer, even more so because one day you might ask a person who is thinking about suicide and if you take the time to listen to their reply...YOU might just save a life... Simply by making that person feel like someone cares about them

just tell the truth, why pretend?

People ask that question out of politeness, but think about it and take notice of the next few people who ask you that question and......How many of them pay attention to your answer ??? I have discovered that many people ask that question out of politeness BUT DO NOT really want to know your answer

I answer with the Truth of how I am doing!! If you don't want to know than don't ask!!

At my age if I wake up I’m good

You hesitate to tell people that you're not okay because you don't know whether they are going to care or not.

Try answering in the negative and nobody wants to hear it, This question is only asked as an icebreaker and out of being polite but most people do not want an honest answer. Try giving this question an honest answer to the next person who asks you just for laughs to see what happens.

I feel horrific.

I say I'm ok or I'm alright even if I am not feeling well in some way because I'm like these people don't want to hear about my problems. They don't want to hear "well I'm feeling depressed today or I'm kind of stressed out about this or that " .

I have chronic condition but I take it day by day

I found that people here ask the question but don't generally wait for a reply.

I don't feel good today.

I’m mentally disabled but I always tell everyone I’m okay. One day at a time my loves!

I was pleasantly surprised when asked at the checkout in supermarket, how are you? It took a while till I learned that that’s a question requires the answer, well, thank you. That was when I moved to Australia 30 years ago.

i feel like shit today thank you ;-))

Nobody cares, its just a parrot reply, would they even stop to hear the answerEdited 16-May-22 02:20am

I don't know. I think sometimes people ask it because they want some reassurance themselves. There are a few occasions with family or close friends where I have realised people actually do care about the answer. I don't think it should be changed. I think society doesn't care enough about its elements as it is. We need to start looking out for one another more - myself included! Edited 16-May-22 01:38am

Yes, only yesterday someone said hello how are you. My reply was fine thank you. Yet I have been feeling down lately. I try not to bother others with my feelings unless it is family

I think it's all the rage today, to intrude. Occasionally, that intrusion is warranted, when, say, you really are worried about a friend's mental/emotional well-being. But for the most part, when invented, that question was asked as an ice-breaker, and as such, did not require a long dissertation one how one actually was, at the time of asking. But I guess it's all in the intonation, and circumstances. I agree on the whole, with Walter W. Why would you want to break a Polite Habit: as long as it is done, freshly, each time. If it is said as a trite comment/question, then it ceases to be polite. How it is answered should be up to the questioned one's discretion, and/or circumstances.

We were taught never to speak to outsiders regarding any problems, illness, financial, marital, etc. Always say well thank you if asked and respond with and how are you. I still do. One has friends, doctor, family or someone to speak to in times of necessity when we need to talk something out. I actually talk to my dog funny as that sounds. She is a better listener than most people and usually I have the answers to my problems myself. I am quite logical and pragmatic which helps. Everyone has their own problems and mostly do not want to listen to someone elses. Of course, if you are really struggling then you do need to get support. A lifelong habit of good manners should never be broken in my opinion and it should be instilled in the young of today who seem to have missed those lessons in many cases.