Discussion of the Day
When is it ok to discipline someone else s child?
Cynthia D 120985029-Sep-23
If you are watching other people s children, and they seriously misbehave, and you can t just walk away from them for any reason is it ok to discipline another person s child?
Comments
  • As a general rule I do not discipline other people's children. If I am looking after them, I might use a time out or more often, we talk about the problem and sort it out and make apologies if needed. Teach communication early on. Teach them talking about their feelings can make things better.
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    • Yes, but only when no one is watching, then you can deny everything…
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      • I think it depends on which level of discipline you will use. A stern voice, taking away privilege's and treats are good punishments for children but laying hands on someone else child even if it is a light slap on the bottom I feel is wrong. As a mother I would not want anyone else but me chastising my child that way.
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        • I would talk to the parents
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          • Hey yes, I was beat as a kid and I turned out great, these kids that are breaking in stores and stealing stuff have no consequences. They should be publicly spanked in public with their pants down.
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            • Just give them a thick ear!
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              • As a retired teacher, I spent a lot of time disciplining other people’s children. Discipline being setting guidelines and rules with appropriate consequences. When my own children had friends over I had guidelines and rules. If a child misbehaved and I was supervising then I explained appropriate behaviour. A consequence may be stopping the activity. I would never raise my voice or physically discipline a child. If the child’s parents were supervising then I did not intervene, it is their responsibility.
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                • Only if the parent says so or the child is in danger.
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                  • My oath it is! Your home, your rules!
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                    • In your own home or in your care
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                      • If done quietly yes & also if in your home.
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                        • Call the attention of the parent or guardian first.
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                          • I think it's best just to discipline adults...:)
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                            • Never
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                              • if your in charge hell yes
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                                • Need a bit more detail here. Were you in charge of these children or where were their parents? If you in charge - yes. If parents there - I would say no. Not sure why you can't just walk away ???? People have different ideas of discipline - your kids your business - otherwise it is the parents.
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                                  • You can give them a warning but depending on the age of the child this doesn't always stop the behaviour.
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                                    • Was in a shopping centre last year when a young lad decided to have a go at another young fellow couldn’t help myself and told him to leave off the poor kid … after working in Childcare for over 20 years you have to step in at times to cool down some situations … of course no physical intervention is ever an option
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                                      • Some 50 years ago a friend brought her daughter to a play date with my daughter in our home. She then left for an appointment. Her daughter then proceeded to climb over radiogram, bookshelves etc. Of course my daughter did the same. As I do not condone children treating furniture as a trampoline or climbing wall I took the 2 girls to a nearby park so that they could play happily outside. When the girl's mother returned I commented on where we had been and why, to be told 'oh that's ok, we let her jump on our furniture because we are going to get new stuff when she starts school'. I did not issue a new invitation for another playu-date tho' have been very interested to see the number of children who are permitted to treat their furniture in this way. Was I wrong?
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                                        • Of course you are right. The mother was quite progressive fifty years ago - there generally was more discipline back then. My younger sister's children were a bit unruly as small children about forty years ago and I was quite taken back because mine were 10 years older than hers and they would not have dreamed (or dared) to damage the things my nephews did. I suspect children get away with quite a lot more these days. I have never been embarrassed by them but would not be at all surprised if my grandchildren are not the angels they lead me to believe they are.
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                                      • I once told some young lads off for standing at the help yourself lolly bins in Woolies...they were scoffing them all...while i know kids do stuff like this, they didnt stop at just a few..told them i was a store detective, they were quite shocked and ran off.
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                                        • If you have been left in charge then it's your place if they misbehave to tell them what they have done is wrong. Otherwise what is the point of leaving them with you.
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                                          • Yes doesn't hurt to show the child where they are going wrong & to stop their behaviour
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                                            • When you’re a teacher
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                                              • Yes
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                                                • If there's an element of danger, someone getting hurt or themselves then sure step in, could avoid an accident. Aside from that, giving little reminders can help kids remember to be polite or behave properly without overstepping the discipline line, that should really be up to the parents.
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                                                  • It is a good subject to discuss with a parent before having to discipline. If you know how the parents discipline their children it can go along way to know you wont be wrong if you follow their lead. It would help the child to understand why it is being done. Just a thought maybe
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                                                    • When needed
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                                                      • Yes it's much better to do something now than have something far worse happen latter.
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                                                        • It’s not ok to discipline someone else’s child but you sure can tell the parents of the problem. If a child misbehaves in my home I sure make the parents aware of it and if it continues, I then will interfere by stating you either discipline your child or I will when your child is in my home.
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                                                          • If they were in my care as at work. They would be redirected. But never had this problem often. They tend to misbehave more for their parents than caregivers.
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                                                            • No,definitely not . If one or both of their parents ate present it is their responsibility to discipline them. The only time I would ever step over someone else's authority is of they are doing something that is going to result in them hurting themselves or others. Then I would also express serious concerns directly to the parents. After working with children up to the age of 12 years for most of my working life I have seen the best and the worst of children's behaviour. They can be angels or devils. And will demonstrate the most embarrassing behaviour quite often in public. These days disciplining your child in public draws alot of unwanted attention from would be do gooders who I am sure have the best intentions. But have a care for their parents. It's a hard job made harder these days and at the end of the day just be thankful they aren't yours.
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                                                              • The only time you can actually discipline someone's child is if they are in your home and they have done something wrong - like hitting your own child kicking your dog and sntaching the food off the table. You have to just say NO in a very firm voice and if they continue to be uncontrollable you call their parents or drive them home and not have them come to your place again. Times have changed and no longer can you do anything without asking the parents. Mobile phones are just a hand away so if a child is misbehaving a quick call to the parent allows them to tell the child off.
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                                                                • i never did , i feel itsbest to ask the parents if its ok
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                                                                  • Discipline the child and the adults with them or just swear loudly and leave or just laugh it off the poor kid probably has an alphabet of disorders and mum forgot to give him, her, they, them, zim zam or whatever pronoun their pills..and she is in need of a break and some medicinal marijuana...or just mind your own business u self righteous karen
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                                                                    • Yes if it indangers other children, bullying or any abuse of others
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                                                                      • Absolutely - You can't let them get away with bad behaviour or they will take full advantage of it and you! Let them know you are in charge and should be respected. If their parents don't like you disciplining them, they don't have to leave them with you. And they probably leave them with you because they can't control them and hope you will teach them some respect.
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                                                                        • I agree , perfectly said. Any one see my kids doing what they shouldn’t I would like to hope they would pull my kid up
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                                                                      • I try to use a bit of humour and a smile. Parents should have to be made to feel bad, it is a damned hard job. However, I do get peed off with parents who are too busy with their bloody phones and not attending to their children..one little guy nearly felt onto the escalator because Mum was gauping at her phone, so I gently ushered him over to Mum...
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                                                                        • If you are looking after children that are not yours but babysitting them for a period of time, & they end up being disrespectful in your house, then certainly I would certainly chastise them but also tell their parents what had happened, before the child or children had a chance to tell their parents.
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                                                                          • Yes if a child or children were misbehaving in my care I would tell them to behave and chastise them
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                                                                            • If they are in your care and misbehaving, absolutely yes
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                                                                              • I would say something to them and never watch the kids again
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                                                                                • Depends, there are a lot of uncontrollable brats around these days.
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                                                                                  • If children are badly behaved around me and disrespectful I shall say something. All children no matter who they are or belong to, need discipline and should be taught how to behave in public. There are a lot of parents out there who need lessons on how to behave as well as the children unfortunately.
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                                                                                    • When they are in your care and misbehaving.
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                                                                                      • If someone elses child is doing something that is effecting your child. In the example given you are acting in loco parentis. You are expected to discipline the children in your care.
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                                                                                        • I believe you can and when the parents come around then tell them what happened. I'm sure they would be fine with it. At least that's what I do and the parents never had a problem with it. I guess every parent is different though.
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                                                                                          • I know you shouldn't, but I told a girl off as she kept bullying my child.
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                                                                                            • I've done the same to older kids who pushed my child (who was 2 at the time) on play equipment. The parents were either too busy chatting or on their phones. Happend on a few occasions.
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                                                                                          • Sometimes. A few yers ago, I was waiting in line for my turn at an attraction at the local harbour. Some wonderful little monster started throwing rocks at the ducks that were swimming close by. Not little ones, but large enough to break the birds bones, or actually kill them. I looked all about and No parents around anywhere, so I yelled at the little darling. Scared him half out of his wits and the collective crowd applauded my efforts. Why didn't anybody else say anything? It was obvious from the applause that they thought I had done the correct thing. Again, why was I the only one to say anything? Fear? Of what? If there are no parents, or you're the parent, I don't think it's wrong to point out the error of their ways (the child's) and try to set them straight. You can't touch the little s***s, (even the actual parent may get arrested for child abuse) but you can speak up.
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                                                                                            • If you are looking after someone else's children and you have been given permission to discipline them that's fine but otherwise no.
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                                                                                              • it is ok to drcipline other people children if their parents are not around
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                                                                                                • Only unless they are going to hurt themselves or some one else then yes but otherwise no. If they are that badly behaved don't look after them any more. I used to look after a neighbours little boy some afternoons until he spat on me and then after that I would never go and play football with him while his dad was getting stoned in the garage. I just thought hey your kid you look after him instead of hanging out with your mates. I had a feeling he knew some thing had happened because I wasn't out there helping but he never really said any thing, not to me any way. I am just glad I do not have to look after any little darlings, I seriously doubt I'd be sane afterwards. They just get away with too much and there is no discipline left not these days any how.
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                                                                                                  • You can discipline them in a positive way. For example: redirected their energy towards a constructive activity, find something they like to do and do it together, things like this. Never physical and not even screaming at them because most of the time it doesn't work.
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                                                                                                    • I don't take care of other peoples children but I do volunteer at my grandchildren's school. If there is a behavioural problem I inform the teacher straight away.
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                                                                                                      • You use your voice. Tell them what not to do and why. If they persist they go home. Always inform the child’s parents what has been occurring.
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                                                                                                        • Never
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                                                                                                          • depends how you want to do it
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                                                                                                            • Never had that problem, they're just too scared to playup when I'm around. (don't know why).
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                                                                                                              • Your home your rules. You may want to tell the parents your boundaries:)
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                                                                                                                • Just ring their parent and tell them to kindly come asap and pick up their brat as you don't want them to contaminate your children with their seriously bad behaviour.
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                                                                                                                  • If they are in your own home or left in your care then its house rules ,respect and safety .
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                                                                                                                    • No, my neighbor father hit me for nothing because his kids want to lay with me not go home not my sister. I didn't made them be with me. This made me loss my childhood and made me never want kids in life or don't feel belong. All the father of childs needed to do go to my parents and tell your child go home or take his kid inside. Or talk his kids right and wrong. Today when see the man I do not say nothing and walk away. If my husband takes him I pull away. It's made my mental I feel like I love my childhood in life.
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                                                                                                                      • That is a very difficult question and can land you in very hot water no matter what action is or is not taken. Even approaching those that are in care of the children to offer advice is not easy. The real problem is that children are far from stupid and they are experts at manipulation and they know exactly what they can get away with. I am retired and my children are all grown and left and I should have the experience to know the answer. If anyone has the information then let me know. I wish you the best of luck with that question which I believe that not even the wise old profits know the answer.
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                                                                                                                        • If they leave you in control, them you should discipline them. But it is there job if they are present. ( Bad behaviour should not be tolerated). P.S. I don't like to witness bad behaviour with no discipline from the parents.
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                                                                                                                          • Yes, and you take the consequences. We were at the park with my two nephews, one 10 and the other 7. The 10yr old was kicking a can on the main road into traffic. Begged him to stop but he wouldn't - I chased him and held him by the scruff of the neck and unfortunately left red marks on his neck. Prior to that we were on a paddle boat at the river. They decided to hold the steering stick and lock the brakes with their feet. I do not swim and we were headed straight for the fountain in the middle of the river. I bit their hands to release the stick and headed for the embankment. On disembarking the 7yr old told the attendant that I sexually abused him. Luckily the attendant just told him to get off. Just taking the nephews out to give my sister a break but I'm the one who copped it. Discipline, yes it is ok in these circumstances where it is dangerous.
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                                                                                                                            • It depends on what your interpretation of discipline is. If the child is in your care and is seriously misbehaving then I would explain to them why they shouldn't behave like that and put them in time out so they can think about it.
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                                                                                                                              • If the child is in your home then you should be able to correct them.
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                                                                                                                                • In response to the main title, I think it was OK to discipline someone else's child up until the 1990's, maybe into the very early 2000's. The past 20 years have seen carers, parents, guardians, etc lose pretty much all ability to discipline children they are taking care of. It seems these days anyone doing wrong has more authority or rights over the person trying to correct the bad behaviour and take care of someone.
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                                                                                                                                  • I really don’t think it is easiest to handle any children
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                                                                                                                                    • Nowadays you cannot spank children so time out would be another way, not sure quite how to answer this.
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                                                                                                                                      • Depends on what you call discipline. Spanking, no. Putting in time out or something is fine.
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                                                                                                                                        • very difficult Cynthia
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                                                                                                                                          • If you are responsible for care, you are responsible for discipline. Perhaps check with the parents what they use for discipline to continue the same.
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                                                                                                                                            • If I'm affected by the child's misbehavior, I might take some questionable action. I would hope that the parents are around to alert them.
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                                                                                                                                              • There's a difference between boundaries and discipline. The way I think about discipline it's corrective and that's more than a one time comment. If I were out with my children and a child was behaving inappropriately or doing something that put my child in significant danger I would have no problem asking them not to or setting a boundary but that's not really the same as discipline.
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                                                                                                                                                • If the discipline is accepted by the parents of the child ahead of time. I would still be very cautious of the kind of discipline you give.
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                                                                                                                                                  • I don't feel comfortable answering his question, since I have 'never' been a parent (and I 'never' raised children)!
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                                                                                                                                                    • If in your care then it’s a yes from me.
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                                                                                                                                                      • If you are watching them and the parents have given you clear guidelines on what is acceptable for discipline. If not, then call the parents and ask.
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                                                                                                                                                        • If you are the adult responsible for the child at the time of misbehaviour then you have to be the disciplinarian. Children need to be taught boundaries. Your house, your rules.
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                                                                                                                                                          • Coming from a big family with lots of children, my rule was if I live with them and baby sit them I get to discipline them. If they don't live with me then I can bite my tongue unless it's too out of control. And never use your hands to talk.
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                                                                                                                                                            • What do you mean by discipline? If you mean hit, under no circumstances.
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                                                                                                                                                              • First of course use words and if that doesn't work .... Id day use a time out as long as it's in your own home or theirs.
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                                                                                                                                                                • Tough call. I guess if it was life threatening because who needs a parent taking you to court? When I was a kid any kid's parent could not give physical punishment, but verbally let you have it for being stupid.
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                                                                                                                                                                  • When they misbehave and there's no adult or guardian around
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                                                                                                                                                                    • It is never O.K. Send him/her home. Then take it up with the child's parents.
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                                                                                                                                                                      • If they misbehave yes
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                                                                                                                                                                        • Only if the parents are not present and they are putting themselves or someone else in danger
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                                                                                                                                                                          • Never. Discipline the parents since the kid issue is theirs not yours
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                                                                                                                                                                            • My place my rules my way.
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                                                                                                                                                                              • There are certain circumstances where it is most appropriate.
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                                                                                                                                                                                • No…speaking to them firmly about their unacceptable behaviour is OK, and then speaking to the parents!
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                                                                                                                                                                                  • TY Morenita
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                                                                                                                                                                                    • You need to discuss with the parent beforehand how they discipline their children as everyone has different methods of discipline and every child is different. Parents know their kids better than anyone else so they should know what makes their child tick. It might be an awkward conversation to begin with but it's a heck of a lot less awkward than dealing with the aftermath if you do something deemed inadequate by parent.
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                                                                                                                                                                                      • What do you mean by discipline them? Hit them? No to hitting but have them sit in a corner or in a room alone for a time out should be fine. It would be a good idea to talk with the child's parents to have your boundaries explained clearly to you. That is if you don't want to be sued and or jailed for passing out punishment to someone else's child.
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                                                                                                                                                                                        • That’s a good question….. I still struggle trying to step in with my grandson. He’s really really bad sometimes and hits his mom.
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                                                                                                                                                                                          • No, but I rat them out to their parents as soon as I see them.
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                                                                                                                                                                                            • No, I don't discipline some else's children, or I don't want someone discipline my children.
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                                                                                                                                                                                              • if you are correcting them yes, but not in the way of grounding or punishments
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                                                                                                                                                                                                • Discipline means a lot as children are really trying to learn correct behaviours. I think it could also mean teaching children not to do to others what they would not like done to them. This may mean a firm time out and some calm conversation, with another time out to reassess their responses and changed behaviours. However, "Discipline" can become subjective and limited to the strengths or weaknesses of both the child to be receptive to guidance and the caregiver/parent's patience. Also, in public spaces it can be tempting but do be careful if you're not being offended or attacked by the child/children- I usually stand back and see what their adult caregiver does or report it directly and quickly to them. Our world is no longer about "a village raising a child" to be the best citizen. Good luck!
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                                                                                                                                                                                                  • DISAGREE,JUST HAVE A CHILD DO A TIME OUT AND LET THE PARENT KNOW AND HOPEFULLY THE CHILD WILL LEARN A THING OR TWO ON BEHAVIOR..
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