Honey. Dump this guy before it's to late. Yiu need to ask yourself if he's in trouble now what's gonna happen in years to come. When you got more financial challenges mortgage kids. Choose wisely Happy to help as always

Not knowing the full details or the people involved it is impossible as strangers to give you advice.

IF YOU FILL THAT WAY DO WRAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT JUST DO IT YOUR WAY

What are you giving up on?...on your partner?..because they are in financial difficulty?...if that is the case they clearly don't mean a great deal to you... so I suggest leaving them is the very best solution..you will be doing them a big favour I suspect.... Edited 23-Mar-23 22:31pm

he holds the wright answer depends how much he values you , if he is only a partner he can walk out and has little financial ties to refund your helping . If is a certified marriage he can claim at least 1/2 of the total value , maybe you could legally lend the money with written documents if he is a good person he will understand. That is not 100%safe he needs to get a life insurance if he dies with no pay back , you are the beneficiary . Same thing happened to me .X wife died i lost the money , but she had the divorce pay off invested and the new husband was 200k well of .

I know, you try to help people and they resent you for it. However, if you feel that it will help, you should let them know that you can help. Try looking up The Herald Sun's Scott Pape (a.k.a. The Barefoot Investor), He regularly publishes a hot line number that is free that handles precisely what your partner needs to know and then do! As for yourself, after helping with this initial contact information, I suggest that you back off and see what happens in the future.

The word 'Struggle' reminds me a lot of a poster we had in one of our Classrooms back in High School, which had an outdoors landscape and simply the words : 'After the Rain, there is Sunshine.' Sometimes I would wonder whether this poster was specifically put there as message personally for me, for some subject I was struggling with? Later, after finishing High School, I realised at Uni that other people can struggle too sometimes, and my struggles were no longer much of a struggle! The poster was right! I was impressed! It was just a phase I was in! Could your partner's struggle be simply a phase? Something the whole World goes through at times? And so just a matter of 'Weathering the Storm' or seeing things through, is in fact the Solution? Edited 23-Mar-23 21:26pm

But if you trust your partner discuss it with him. If you decide to lend can he take extra hours or an extra casual job.It depends on how much money is involved,if it's $1000.00 or less I would lend him that, if it's more why can't he get a personal loan or just trust him & lend it & teach him how to budget .My husband & I have all joint accounts & I am better at budgeting than he is but he trusts me & I actually make money for us .Good luck

If u have the ability to make anyone's life better, then I say, help. Especially your partner in crime. Do it. I don't know a single person who hasnt been 'burnt' in the past, but that's exactly it. Don't let the past hold you hostage. Personally I believe you need to finish with this person, and get married to your money. With Love x

Seems you have a lot more to think about than finances.

You say your partner but your obviously living as partners???

If you can't trust your partner get out as it will not work

if you are both working and you love him together you should be able to get real advice from a reliable source ,

Finance is coming before you. Leave and start saving money if you can for yourself.

If you are in a serious relationship would the financial struggle be a joint issue as monies would be shared . Seek finanical advice from an expert pay for this service one of up front cost and that will be you helping without going into debt. In this situation the other person needs to be told how to fix the struggle without the emotional attachment as this can band aid a bigger issue.Edited 25-Mar-23 07:56am

It depends on what your partner wants help with, how long you’ve known them, and how much help (money or otherwise) have they given you or would be likely to give you when you’re in need. As much as you love and trust somebody, it only takes a quick look at divorce proceedings/property settlement cases to see that things can go very sour when it comes to money. If you let them borrow money, don’t let them borrow enough to ruin yourself and have a legally binding repayment agreement drawn up. You could help in other ways too. If they can’t afford food, feed them. Maybe pay a bill for them if you can afford it. But watch them, If you do help them out, and then they go and spend their own money on unnecessary things, then you know they are taking advantage. Cut your losses and run.

do you love this person? permanent?

Is there a question here? If so, what is it?

You're right. Keep your money separate. It doesn't sound like you can trust this one either.

You can't really compare it to the last time you helped someone. Everyone is different and not everyone will screw you over. If I had enough money to spare I would help my partner provided he's not blowing all his money on drugs, alcohol, gambling etc. and then expecting others to give him money for his necessities.

You said it MY PARTNER You are both in it together help one another

Alas, it depends on the one struggling. If they are the "self made man" then I would suggest if it's money that is the problem suggest the appropriate expert advice viz, banks!

As they say Neither a Borrower or Lender be and that is very true with family as you tend to get screwed over in the process. As for your Partner that all depends on how long the relationship has been going and I can not help you there.

If you mean a life partner then yes you should help but if the relationship is fairly new I would advise him to go to a financial advisor. There are some free government services available

It depends on what you mean by partner, if you mean spouse, of course you should help.

I've only had one good outcome of helping someone out. But for the most part I would stay away from helping because it will become a habit of expecting the help every time. Your partner needs to find their on solution outside of you. There are all kinds of services out there. Just have to pick up the phone and call and they need to do that, not you.

is a bit vague when you do not know how or why he is in trouble, but [ my budget ] is a great company at relieving the stress of a financial mess, they handle a lot of the contact with debtors,and I know a lot of marriages they have saved that were suffering because of financial stress, good luck hope things work out

I think Centrelink have financial advisors but appointment is needed

Maybe he can go Uniting Care and speak with a Financial Councillor there and they can speak on his behalf and make reasonable payment arrangements and in the meantime get his debtors off his back.

Definitely don’t do it Work out other ideas to reduce their debts , smallest one first

Don't do it! If they've been in financial trouble before they will be again. Try and work with your partner to find a way to go after the smaller debts first. They will be easier to pay off. Then work your way through to the big ones. Stay as far away from "quick loans" outfits. The interest will kill you!

You need to find out why he is struggling, what he is spending his money on and how to reduce or stop it. Has he bought something that he should have saved up for. Is he a person who has to have what his relatives /friends have, perhaps even a more expensive version? e.g. a sports or fancy car instead of a more basic one? Is he paying something like child support that you don't know about.

Moral support not money

This is a hard one. There are places that can consolidate all debts so no nasties can come looking for payment as long as the partner is actively repaying even if it is like $10. A repayment plan is essentially the best way to get on top of debt. They also need to want it too, are they working? Can they get a second job packing shelves at the supermarket at night for example? Yes less time to spend together but if really want to I am sure they can. It's also worth asking for help with bills etc etc It sure depends on where you both are, like what country? It's great you are asking for help but more information is needed. We would have many different opinions because this is a site that is world wide.

register to work for referendum if u live in Australia. I have been recruited already before even a date is given. $400 for a days work. the counting will be easy - just a yes or no. it is a long day but lots of quiet periods throughout the day. Next time there is an election ask to work as second in charge - $700. Then after that ask to be on the team going around to small country towns and mining towns. that is worth quite a few thousand. That sounds like fun to me. Just imagine all the meals I would not have to cook and all the beds I would not have to make. I guess u wouldn't know who you would have to keep company with - but I think I could handle that.

If in doubt toss your partner out

get a sugar daddy

Dont lend money only gets you into trouble tell your partner get a second job

If they're not working then they should try Centrelink. They should also go to their bank and tell them everything no matter how embarrassing it may be for them. If you bail them out it won't change anything and you will also end up struggling financially. I've lent people money before and they never even attempted to pay me back. Once they realised I couldn't help them anymore, they turned their backs on me and haven't spoken to me since. Remember, you always come first.

It depends on the serious situation is really

If I may I would like to add to what I wrote before. It may be embarrassing but if you do go to your Bank it is absolutely essential that you hide nothing from them when it comes to finances. They will check you out very, very thoroughly, with the possible exception of money your family have lent you, they will find out every little thing about you and your finances so that Credit Card, those very, very dangerous BNPL systems you forget to tell them about they will find them out and this will effect how the banks respond to you request. Make no excuses, take the blame for what you have gotten yourselves into and the Bank will look at you kindly.

Get him to get professional advise from Debt Busters or My Budget who can help him live within his means and pay of any debts.

Look out for yourself - the best bet!

If your partner can't get a job he should apply to centre link and should get help of some kind that would give you both something to work with.

Don’t help, from experience, I loaned money and the person instead thanking me, they stop talking to me, so I don’t ask for my money😂

Go to your Bank - Yes, I know they crew us over with their greed, fees and charges but they don't want to see you go under because it causes them problems as well. Be completely up-front and Honest with them and they will try to help you, offer solutions, some of which you may not like but are essential if you want to get out of that great, big red hole. Try it! I did and it worked like a charm and we are now back on a safe bit of ground and are even managing to save a bit. On a lighter side. Why do people refer to people/businesses with debts as being in a Black Hole? shouldn't it be a RED one? After all when people/businesses etc. are in profit they are referred to as Being in the Black!Edited 23-Mar-23 10:38am

Good luck!!

only you can make this decision. PRAY

Give your partner a chance. They weren't the ones that financially screwed you over . I would give them a chance

His debt, his problem, he'll have to work out how to sort it at some stage ie cut spending, sell assets, sell anything he doesn't need to get ahead. If he can't get ahead now, your support delays things. Easy to say as an outsider, I take a Judge Judy, Dr Phil 'no bullshit' approach. If you are going to lend him money, get an agreement drawn up, signed, witnessed, heres what I am LENDING you as A LOAN & set repayment amounts or paid in full by this date. Edited 23-Mar-23 09:49am

Financially struggling is a difficult situation for 'outside assistance'. People need to live within their means and overcommitting yourself and going into personal debt just adds to their guilt, There are charitable no interest loans accessible through outfits like Salvos, St Vinnies etc, talk to a financial advisor through a charity of Centrelink

Look into government sponsored programs for low-income people

Why don't you get some free financial advice? I think if you go on the Centrelink website they have some websites or info about it

Some times it is not a good idea to help someone because once you stop, they just return to old habits and go back to the beginning. Out side support for a professional is the only way.

You have given us only some of the info to make a judgement, there is a lot of other things that contribute to a relationship ie kids, working hours and monetary situation, on this alone I would not contribute an answer. best of luck in your decision.

neither a borrower nor a lender be. It's better to give them the money no strings attached, don't expect to get it back.

"Once bitten twice shy", that will be a NO!

Must endure tough love

You can remember that you were screwed over before has nothing to do with this partner does it? Well why make him/her pay for a previous mistake YOU made ?

This is a tough situation to be in. Continue to support each other and get some help.

Probably is better not to get involved. Send him to a financial specialist

The first thing to do is to draw up a legal contract to protect yourself, and your money. Next important thing to remember is family are usually the ones who will screw you the most. Anyway, seeing it is your partner you might feel that you have to help, but at least get a contract or you might live to regret it even more. If he can't sign the contract, then can you really trust him. Make sure the payments come out of his wages before he is paid, full stop.

I real don't know what to do. If you can help with foods or old clothes them do its. Maybe for Easter give them a small gift card with $50 or less to buy they needed. They neeeded a teacher to be bettee financially. End of the day its not your job help them. If they ask you can help them by shown them a financially way.

It maybe he is not making the right choices when spending his money he should try to put some aside in an account that he only uses if he has to or get some financial advise from his bank

Don't loan what you can't afford to lose. My partner has loaned my money in the past and I've always made sure that when paying him back, he's the first payment that comes out of my account

Prepared to loan it? Prepared to lose it. Debt builds up for awhile so this isn't a sudden shock. There's enough budget advice out there. Head over heart when it comes to financial matters especially when they're not yours.

depends why he is struggling. Budgets are great things

Unfortunately if someone is struggling financially they are unlikely to pay you back. They must try to get themselves out of the hole they got themselves in in the first place. I borrowed some money once to someone but they were not struggling but I also had papers written up to say that they will pay me back. They paid me in full.

It depends on how committed both of you are. The only one that knows this is you. You can help a bit but your partner needs to do most of it by getting out of his or her's struggles. You also don't need to give money but can help by cooking meals and doing small things like that.

I know what that is like !! I got Run over by an SUV and got bullied out of a Settlement and they Took My SSI from Me and some Freak won't let me Work They Pay People Off Not To Hire Me And I Don't Know With Such CROOKED PEOPLE WHAT TO DO!!! IS THERE ANYONE WHO WILL HELP A SWEET HONEST WOMAN !! MY APARTMENT IS IN JEOPARDY BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO ME!!! HELP HELP!! I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TELLING THE TRUTH!!

I wish I have financial advice right now.

Nooooo!!!! Run girl... don't be fooled again

Why is he financially struggling?

Debt, not a nice place to be! Myself at my age/stage in life and having been through some financial struggle’s as a solo parent, I went to my bank and worked on a budget, I also worked and studied to show good role modelling to my boy’s, so I would suggest you support your partner by finding way’s to solve this financial dilemma, rather than rescuing them, the old saying’once bitten twice shy’ most time’s the only way to learn hard lessons is to go through the hard time’s…

If it’s your partner, donate with whatever you can . Don’t expect it back then no one looses

If you can afford to help and are prepared to lose whatever money you put in, go for it. Otherwise, steer well clear.

Really depends on how well you trust them and how long you have been together. If you don't think this is a relationship that will last i wouldnt help. If you do help you need to not expect anything back ever .

When you said 'partner' - are you living together (which means you are 'not legally' responsible for his/her debt) or actually married/civil union to each other (which means 'you are legally' responsible for his/her debt). If you reside in the USA - tried conversing with a debt consolidation specialist agency - if that doesn't work (since you have stated, the 'two of you have tried most solutions'). Otherwise get an attorney and have your 'partner' FILE personal bankruptcy (aka Chapter 13 in USA). Whatever, you and your partner 'decide' - GOOD LUCK!!

It really depends on the reasons why your partner is financially struggling. Has he over committed himself with some purchases he has made, is there something that he could possibly sell to assist with the problem. I am assuming you are not married as you would discuss it and work out a solution.

First of all are you married?

Don’t ever give money to someone who is having financial problems. It doesn’t matter how much money a person has if they don’t know how to manage money they will never have enough and will always end up in strife. Financial literacy is what your partner needs to learn. I don’t know why you are saying “we” about this. It’s their problem and they need to take ownership of it.

I guess it depends on how long you have been together and if you both contribute to your living arrangements, i.e. rent, food, utilities etc. Then perhaps you should go through a solicitor so you have some legal recourse if things go belly up leaving you holding the debt. Personally, I never lend money, go guarantor etc. I have given small amounts of money to family but that is all. I do not have the money to help someone else out of their financial mess. Think hard before you hand any over.

Hi Adsaja, I can see why you are cautious about handing over the dollars to help your partner with financial issues. However, help and support can take many forms. It doesn't necessarily mean putting yourself at risk of developing the same problem. You could research government programmes, low-fee loans from charities that are government backed, or indeed , the various charities out there if you haven't already done so. The other thing is to look at spending, and see if something can be cut out or cut down, if you haven't already done so. The Salvation Army offers financial councelling sessions as well. Then , there is the option of negotiating with the businesses you deal with to see if there could be a pause put on accounts until your partner can get back on his feet. I think you are very wise to be hesitant about lending. You've been prudent in getting your own finances together and this is not your problem alone. Be the supportive partner, as I am sure you are,but hold onto your own security, you've experienced the pain of debt in the past. Good luck!

Only help them financially if you can afford to lose your money. Must have back-up.