Wedding - public announcement of a private intention.

ty Zebra.....

Haven't heard of this tradition. It disturbs me that the emphasis is placed on "the best or the dearest" anyway. Your right it's wrong.

yes it is! I got married by a judge and it cost us $14 dollars. been married since 1976 .

Well - my opinion is VERY SIMPLE. "if" I did meet someone I want to marry ..... it would be a very simple ceremony - probably in my back yard or perhaps a nice Park. It would be family and special friends...... and probably a barbecue afterwards. END OF STORY.

30 yrs in a relationship and it's ok....nowadays weddings are too expensive and most people cannot afford it so don't expect much. A small ceremony with family is the best and have a party with friends afterwards.$$$should not be a priority.

I don't plan to get married at all tbh, seems like wayyyy too much work and energy to be married, let alone throw a wedding

I only made this mistake once! These days it's a production, too much money spent and then they can't afford a house.

My wedding was almost 58 years ago when things were very different. My bridesmaids paid for their dress and shoes and I gave them all a gift. My husband, best man and groomsmen all wore their uniform so there wasn't too much expense on them at all.

I made my own wedding dress as well as the dresses for all the bridesmaids. I made my wedding veil. I made the entire wedding cake, decorated it myself. I made all the table decorations. I made flower bouquets for myself & the bridesmaids. I made the wedding invitations. My brother did the photography. All I had to organise was the horse & carriage and the catering for the event at a hired room. Is there something missing here? The groom paid for nothing and did nothing. Guess what? He is ex now.

no one should spend a lot on a wedding

please do not get married in hasteEdited 02-May-24 20:10pm

I love watching the so called "Budget" weddings on TV. The couples go to great lengths to make a happy day for all, often on a shoestring budget. Items are borrowed, recycled, downcycled or made by the partners themselves. They demonstrate such commitment to each other and honour the institution itself. I would much rather attend such a wedding than the designer, "everything I want it to be" event where cash is splashed like it is going out of style. I've also noticed that the budget participants tend to last the distance, more so than the designer set.

when I got married back in 1981 we(my wife-to-be) paid for the wedding& invited a list of guests, matron of honour but parents also suggested who to invite. Wedding went well☺

Unfortunately that marriage was very much a downer. Turns out my beloved expected me to just look after him and was not into children. Since then, I've done it twice again, acquired one daughter, and lost 2 husbands, the last I loved dearly but seems too many cigarettes and whiskies ruined his arteries and veins. My current partner and I felt that life wasn't meant to have too many marriages and have sailed along without all the fuss for over 35 years and counting, even acquiring houses and finally feeling we have got our last happy home now - living in the same spot for over 24 years.

My family were not very well off when I was to be married. With this very much in mind I decided to hire my dress. I was to be wed early in spring and the weather was not helping. I had always wanted to marry in a gown with texture and to my delight I found a satin gown that fit me beautifully. THE BIG DAY was windy and cold and the satin certainly did help. Four days later I returned the dress.

it should be what suit the couple getting married... if your family want to help fine but if they don't fine as well... it's the love that's there between the couple not how big you can party. We have been married for just about 12 years. My sister in law wanted to tell us how to organise our wedding and what to do..... but I wouldn't let her now... she is the one who married after we did and has a divorce. She had so much alcohol at her wedding It wasn't funny.... didn't make them last longer.

Would never get married as marriage is based in religion and even the religious seem to agree with the ever decreasing numbers getting married and ever increasing percentage of divorce after a short period

I agree that the bride and groom should pay for there own wedding don't expect your friends and family to pay for something you want. your old enough to do it your old enough to pay for it. I've been married twice never had the luxury to have a wedding both were in the court house. This will be my 3rd and final and I would like to be able to have an actual wedding. I've always wanted to be able to walk down the isle in a gorgeous gown and having my family and friends there to celebrate it with my spouse and I. Well since we don't have the luxury of having a big bash and we're not into spending an elaborate amount. We were looking at doing a pot luck with a BYOB this way everyone gets what they like to eat and drink. Cause catering can suck badly not everyone likes what is being served.prices can get out of hand. Etc .. I'm making our wedding and grooms cake. To make things fun for everyone I was thinking about putting cameras at every table for everyone to take pics with . My bridal party will be able to wear what they feel comfortable in with in reason. Must be respectfully dressed. Same for the groomsmen. I only have suggestions for the color scheme so that they at least fit the theme. No registry they can bring what they think we would like. Etc.... Ok well I'm looking for out side opinions on our idea for the wedding is it a good idea or ? Most of the people I know like the idea but I am trying to figure out if there is something more we can do or possibly change .

Is it a marriage or a show ,keep it simple and stress free ,have close friends and family and save your money for the bigger things in life to come .

we did it ourselves as well, everyone bought a plate of food or a carton of booze /wine, everybody looked after something and we had a big day,the credit card was untouched

My son married on the beach - no cost. His bride made the dress and only bought a few accessories to bright it up like a sparkly waist band and the veil. The car she arrived in was a mates white car which we put some ribbons on and I placed my bridal veil along the back window. Flowers were no expensive and the reception was held at a local surf club which was just for us and was lovely. I think he had about 100 people and the total cost was under $5000. As for their rings, I gave them my engagement ring and the large diamond he put in his ring and the smaller ones she had in her wedding ring. It was a lovely wedding and he had a lot of mates who helped with the DJ being one. One does not have to spend 10's of thousands to have an exceptional wedding.

Keeping it simple is the way to go these days. Spending thousands is ridiculous. Expecting others to pay for it is an insult also. You want to get married you pay for it. You want to have children you pay for it and in both cases do not expect others to front up the dollars whether it be parents, friends, or the governments i.e. taxpayers. People seem to be so entitled these days.

My partner/ hubby haven’t actually done the deed yet, although we’ve been together for almost 24 years…for all that know us we are hubby and wife, just without the legal papers. We haven’t been able to afford it, as other things have cropped up. But as I have social anxiety I would truly hate some huge flashy thing, we’d rather just a few of our nearest and dearest and closest family. No big reception with the bells and whistles…probably a barbie or something fairly informal. I don’t like the limelight and he’s not to crash hot on it either. But each to their own I guess.

I loved our children weddings, the girls were put on a budget , I made some of the clothes, they did not live together before , our son did & their wedding was a bit different as both parents did not really approve however it was lovely. Only one wedding the groom wanted to hire a car for his bride to arrive in, personally I did not think it a great advantage it was a Bentley not as grand as I thought it should be. We used white cars for the others in the wedding party. Two of our girls had lunch time weddings which were a lot less in cost that night, worked out very well & would encourage others to do the same amazing how much time you waste as we all ready for the early start the second daughter who had a lunch time wedding bought it forward to 9.30 as her sisters was 10.30 & we were rushed to finish to service before rushing off the the reception, both girls had morning teas which was very nice for guests we could not invite to the lunch reception .

I really, think that a big extravagant wedding is a waste of money, the money could and should be used for a deposit on a home for the newlyweds.

It's all about being bigger and better these days.

It's everyone personal choice and there isn't a right or wrong but I don't believe either parents should pay for a wedding if you want to get married then pay for it yourself When I got married we didn't take money from my parents or my husbands parents we paid for it all by ourselves this way no one got a say about theme styles locations nothing it was specifically chosen by me and my husband

I would prefer a small intimate function

I agree, a wedding isn't to show off and cost a fortune ! It is to declare your love for one another. We had a small wedding , hired dresses, suits. CWA ladies did our catering, a friend made our cake and we used friends cars. A great time was had by all( everyone listened to a repeat of the footy grand final because it was a draw the week before! We wouldn't have dared have our wedding on grand final day)

Keep it simple

the thing I hated most about my wedding, is when I had to pay some lady 800 dollars or so to make some gigantic pot of soup, which didn't taste that good. So hardly any of it got eaten. then my Mom just chucked it all in the morning like it was water and I didn't even have the option of eating it.

Actually you know weddings getting more expensive, is the work of the banks they control it, if they need the wedding to create more debt in society then they can get what they want. It is a piece of the Debt circulation, just like they say bringing up interest slows inflation down, they have weddings under control too. Edited 02-May-24 15:30pm

It's your wedding so you and your partner should pay for it. We got married in a registry office as neither my husband and I were interested in wasting money, and we were rather shy all those years ago.

agreed

That is true, though now remember the retail industry took over the idea of weddings.

I happily admit to being a Cynic. We did not bother with all that very expensive nonsense of a Wedding, we chose to, as people used to say, Live in Sin, and Very Happily we did so for almost 30 years when Death, she did come a-calling! First there is the Courting Phase which ends with the man wasting many 1000s on a Diamond with other Precious Gems Engagement ring.If the reports are true then people squander many 10s, if not 100s. of Thousands on the Wedding Dress, Multiple Bridesmaids Ddresses, Flowers, The Groom, Best Man and Multiple other Male Attendants go out and, costing many hundreds they hire Special Suits. Add to all of that the Grossly over-priced Wedding Cake, the Special Catering, the Alcohol, the cost of the venue plus the decorating of it, Then there is the Band to play their tunes for the guests to dance to. Add Luxury Chauffeur-driven Limousines, a Multi-thousand dollar Honeymoon to top it all off. Then after just a few months the now not-so-happy couple have a Blazing Row and both run off home to Mummy and Daddy and then file for Divorce. If the statistics are correct this happens to more than 33% of All married couples. So what is the point of all this waste? And don't forget the cost of that wedding in some church, synagogue, temple, mosque all of whom expect to be paid very handsomely as well. All this Wasted money would be enough to pay a Very Handsome Deposit on a Home for the, currently, Happy Couple and, as seems to happen so often now, their children, on whom they have spent more 100s on outfits for them to be part of the Wedding PartyEdited 02-May-24 14:45pm

You choose to get married then you should pay for it. You should not think, hope or definitely expect anyone to contribute.

Bridezillas are dangerous and believe that they are entitled to anything that they see and then want.

it,s to expesive i went to the regerster office got married we were hapywith it just like a little church them meet our friends and had a party in our house

weddings are too expensive you can have a cheaper wedding there are so many options the op shops have so many dresses

You are absolutely correct. weddings are a personal promise between the combatants (eventually, anyway). Weddings used to be, and still are to some extent, a way to merge wealth, property and loyalties. Women were of no 'real' value. That's why there was a dowry. Once religion got involved it became just another way for the church to control your lives. We seem to have progressed (?) from those days to a point where too many celebrations are just a means to show off and be one up on the 'other'. I would suggest sincerity is more closely related to modesty.

Ban weddings they never last a life time these days just live together you still have equal rights , what’s the point?

I paid for the whole wedding, as my Mom was a widow with 5 children, 3 of us still at home. There were no expensive excursions for the bridal party, which consisted of my sisters and sisters-in-law. My shower was held at a senior living center where my sister-in-law's mother lived. It was simple, yet tasteful. That was 49 years ago, and we are still happily married, proof that weddings don't have to be over-the-top events!

My wedding was forty years ago. My aunt was a dressmaker and made the simple style dress I wanted as a wedding gift. We had the reception in the double garage of the two bedroom home we had just bought, family did the catering with everyone chipping in, and a friend did the photos. We had a great evening, and it cost very little. I think these weddings that cost thousands, and brides who demand guests wear certain colours are crazy. Why bankrupt your family and friends just so you can have a fancy wedding?

I agree with you, I never would have thought to ask for help.

My wedding was self organized with bit of help from “ outlaw “ relatives who are now not family. Dress was half price due to store closing,rings were half price due to store renovations,car was mine,photos were done by a friend ( done great job of it), reception was at a RSL club all you can eat buffet. Friends said it was best they ever had. Only cost $20 per head and unlimited food but drink was friends cost. So there was no need for expensive day.

Very hard thing to do.

I knew a bride who couldn't wait to go and open her envelopes. I knew not to be in the wedding party.

My husband and I have been married for 50 years and did it all ourselves. Haed our family and close friends at home. We have no regrets. We still think it was the best thing we did.

True

I always thought the bride's parents paid most of it. I have enver hear of the matron of honour or the best man having to pay.

Keep it simple is the only advice I can give you and hey it's just one day. Yes a big day in your lives but if money is an issue now I would be worried about the relationship down the track. Each to their own for this. Sorry just on another note. I had quite an interesting day yesterday. I got an email from a friend of the family, one I don't usually get emails from. Any way he asked for a favour (spelled favor.) So I said how can I help. He wanted a $300 Apple Store card and he was telling me I could go to any store near me to buy one.Told me he was out of town, had a sore throat couldn't talk on the phone and he'd tried to buy one on line and it was for here's the sob story for a friend that has stage 4 melanoma (spelled incorrectly but thought it was a typo.) and it was her birthday and he needed the card today. So I showed my hubby the emails and we were almost at the post office when he said how do we know this isn't a scam? So I said fair enough so I called my Dad and he said hold on I will call the friend and I will ring you back immediately. Yep it was a SCAM....Oh my we could have lost $300. Our governments, the police and the telcos can't protect us we need to protect our selves. I am telling every one this because we need to be smarter than the scammers. If any one is invasive via a text or an email do some research before going off to buy a store gift card because it could just be a scam and I nearly fell for it. We got home we deleted all emails and we have blocked the email addresses. I had looked at the email and another tell tale sign is the email address changed from bigpond to outlook. Which I hadn't realised until we took a closer look. That was very scary and a close one. Stay safe every one and if me telling you hey I feel like a bit of a dill because I nearly fell for it and I save some one from falling victim and would be super happy. We loose billions of dollars a year and that is just Australia. Please be diligent and let's stop scammers one scam at a time. Edited 02-May-24 11:50am

I did get married 25 years ago, but wasn't interested in an over-the-top wedding so we eloped and were married in a Registry Office. Saved us loads of money, and call us selfish, but it was the best decision we ever made... and honeymooned in the Maldives 🏝️

I think it's half2x it's depend on what you agree about that

Some have a lot of expectations. Not good! Keep it simple. I had a garden wedding 40 years ago with 33 of our closest friends and family and my husband to be and I paid for everything! It was great!

I firmly believe that the responsibility of covering all expenses related to the wedding should lie with the hosts. If you want to have a wedding, you should be prepared to take on the financial burden that comes with it. It's only fair that those who are hosting the event, whether it's the bride and groom or their families, should be the ones to foot the bill.

According to tradition, the father of the bride pays for the wedding and the father of the groom pays for the drinks. These days it is over expensive for this and saving costs are the only way to go.

Anything associated with a wedding these days is ridiculously expensive & as for the best man/matron of honour expected to pay for everything is just as ridiculous. A wedding is about love not money.

I don't believe it's right to ask others to pay for your wedding. In my days it was the bride's parents who paid for the venue and meal and the groom's parents paid for the drinks. To expect bridesmaids and best man to pay is over the top.

Never been married but would get a marriage celebrant and then an expensive hotel somewhere on the beach and go up for dinner marriage prices are so overrated

Everyone celebrates their important landmark of life to be in a happy, loving relationship. Some they lavishly spend on the occasion whether they can afford or not while some others make it a memorable moment by being simple, thrifty and sensible. It all depends on the attitudes of both parties involved, I suppose!😊😠🥂

12 years ago we offered our daughter an amount of money that we thought reasonable and said "what you don't use on the wedding you can keep to go toward your house." She had a lovely wedding and had some left over. It is the marriage that is important.

I dont think it right to pay for everything. But they should pay for ur bucks/ Hens night. The parents of the couple getting married should also help out. If they are around. But the bride and groom should pay for most of it. Well me and my x were planing on paying for our wedding ourselfs. But very lucky it didnt go through.

I was married in 1970 in Singapore my husband was in the army and there they did everything for us so I dont know about the cost of weddings to day but I guess it would cost a bit of money back in my day our perants paid for the wedding

hi cher, ty...

If you are planning an expensive wedding just plan on paying for your bridesmaids and groomsmen. They will be putting out enough for the showers and guys nights. There are almost always at least 2 of each of those and they put out the money for those partys and gifts. Then at the end they will be also giving you a wedding gift. Better yet don't do the big and fancy wedding just put the money aside for the down payment for your home. It's not about the day its about the marriage.

Unless you or your father is a millionaire sadly money is a priority. People often go to extremes when planning the weddings, spending money they don't have or can't afford to spend. There is often peer pressure to outdo your friends wedding. Much like high school graduations where this years graduates are going to outdo last years grads. Then sometimes the wedding doesn't last and the reason could be paying for the cost over the wedding. Many marriages end early because of money or lack of it. My advice would be to get families together, as witness, and just get married. No church, no dinner, no unnecessary expenses. This might give your marriage a better chance of surviving.

i have been married for 56 years and money in the first 20 years was something somebody else had but we shared equally everything we had if you want a successful marriage money should never be the priority i agree with Elizabeth T496086

Whose culture is this? When I got married everything was paid for by me or the family and we actually GAVE money to the bridal party as a thank you as well as paid for all of their clothes etc. I had a wedding to make my family happy. If I had a choice, I would not have had one at all and doubt that I would have even chosen to get married.

My only church wedding was planned and paid for by my ex-mother-in-law. She helped pick out, and paid for my dress, picked the bride's maids (none of whom I knew, except for my young daughter), picked the church, helped pick the flowers, you get the picture. Unfortunately, her son felt he needed to lose weight after we married (even though I was fine with his rock-hard, larger body), and took DEXATRIM! His personality changed, he began drinking, and was a mean drunk, so we separated. I gave him a second chance, but he failed poorly, so we divorced. He was such a good man before he took diet pills. So sad his sweet mom spent all that money for nothing. ;-( (My other weddings were at a Justice of the Peace, and one was on the pier of a pond in a park. We rode in a horse drawn buggy to the wedding site. It doesn't matter how you marry how your marriage will turn out. I unfortunately kept making bad choices). I'll be married to the same man 20 years July 16, 2024. I lived with him 9 years. He moved me to the island in 2013 and abandoned me. I've been the happiest in my life the past 11 years without a man in my life! ;-D God is the only One! ;-D

If you want a wedding, you pay for it yourselves, what's next? Going to get a mortgage and expect others to pay? Stand on your own two feet.

no comment.

Inever heard of the practice of asking anyone else to spendon your wedding. It should be the GROOM

As I am 90 I don't care who pays for my wedding as it will never happen again

My wedding,only five people involved and the same people that were on the day. simple

I’m not sure what is expected in this generation of newly weds, maybe it’s a cultural thing, my experience is the wedding party is their to support the bride and groom, not necessarily to pay! I never married my boys father, however several years after our separation I married my soulmate at age 53, it’s our 10th wedding anniversary this year, we paid for our own wedding, of 50 guests, didn’t ask for any financial assistance ❤️

Yes in my day the bride & groom & parents paid. If I had my time over mine would be different. Just something simple.

I've never heard of such a thing and I think it is extremely rude for anyone to be so presumptuous as to just expect anyone other than themselves and their parents to pay for wedding stuff. The planning is usually done by the bride with a little help from her fiance in the form of, "okay, sweetheart; that sounds really nice". Most guys I know say just plan it and I'll show up; let me know when and where. This stuff you're describing is completely selfish and VERY rude. Just tell the bride 'no frickin' way am I paying for THAT!' and let her stew in her juices and make other arrangements... even if that's finding someone else to be her pawn --- her broke pawn.

IN MY FAMILY BIG WEDDINGS R A THING OF THE PAST

I think that all this expectation from the bride of both assistance in organising wedding events like the hen's night and the Matron of Honour, I'm not sure that this is even a term these days as it's been years since I've been to a wedding, that the term "Bridezilla" was coined! Personally I'm glad that none of my 5 adult children ever want to get married. They're in their 30's and 40's now and at least I know that they won't be paying back an expensive wedding debt before it's time to divorce. They won't have to go through divorce I mean. Thanks for reading.

yes, very rude,it's a day to celebrate .wrong to have other's pay for one's marriage..

Keep it simple. Do not try to impress anyone. There is life after the wedding, it is called marriage; that's where the whole focus should be.

although I don't know the stats, I think lots of money on a wedding is a temporary thing given the divorce rate

Definately wrong, they're there to help plan your wedding not pay for it. They are there to raise money throughout stag party, bridal shower or stag and Doe. With that they can sell tickets to win stuff etc. They stand by you while you're being married. In the end its up to the Bride and groom to buy the Best man and maid of honor a gift in thanks for all their work and help. Thats all they're to do.

never getting married

I never had a wedding, just went before the Justice of the Peace. I would never waste the money on a wedding. Maybe an intimate dinner party/ BBQ after but not a full blown wedding.

Wedding, unimportant but should be fun. Marriage, very important but not always fun.

It is all for show these days and no one should be expected to spend any money unless they want to and can afford it. Just my opinion

In the past, the brides family paid for all the dresses. Yes way too much money spent on weddings these days especially given how long some marriages last.

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