Discussion of the Day
Age of Invisibility
Kate F 39317329-Oct-23
Hi, has anyone noticed that once you re past the age of sixty, that you become invisible? Whether it s other members of the general public, or shop assistants, or even survey writers - they just don t see if you re elderly.
How do you make yourself noticed?
Comments
  • I see myself in the mirror Lately in which sometimes I see myself getting older, but I am feel young and I still do things without anybody help.
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    • Age is only a number. Inside I still feel a lot younger than I am.
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      • There are times that I like to blend in and not be noticed.... like when I have a headache but need a few groceries. If you see me in the store with sunglasses on, it's not because I think I'm cool; I have a headache and the lights hurt. Usually I dress nicely, put on a little makeup and go about my business when I feel well. I worked with the public for most of my life and can start a conversation with anyone. So, depending on my mood or day or whatever, there are times to be invisible and left to do what needs doing, and there are times I go out of my way to include someone who may just need someone to talk to. I hope your reaching out days far outnumber the invisible ones. If you want a kinder world, be kinder in it:)
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        • Dye your hair yellow and l bet you’ll get noticed no matter how old you are!!!
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          • As long as you had a good life you should be happy ,as things are they will get older too and things are not going to be pleasant as we now have ...
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            • Born free. free as the wind blows, free as the grass grows. Grow as happy as you ca be.
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              • I work with elderly which I hate that term, I prefer the life rich because thats what you become, your life experiences your knowledge can teach so much. I do not see age I have some that are 100 and what delighted them in their youth still delights them now. I am sorry you feel invisible, you most certainly are not, you are "Life rich".
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                • I’m reading all your comments and have to say the opposite has happened to me, is it because like mindedness attracts likeminded? I’m noticed and given respect, conversed with, in the supermarket, petrol stations, my art classes, when out at a cafe, or strolling through public gardens, walk about in my neighbourhood! I’m 66 and loving my life as a grey nomad, where who cares what other’s think, I can finally be me… by the way we’re ‘elder’s’ not elderly, we have a life time of wisdom, and have earned respect…
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                  • I have always loved myself, so I don't have to be notice by anyone.
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                  • I am very visible...it is the rest walking around with head down looking at their cell...very sad
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                    • agree
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                  • It's not just an age thing, people with disabilities and ethnic groups can become invisible in society. Then you have the poor and in some countries women are invisible. It is up to the individual to stand out if they want too.
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                    • Surveys would be the biggest one to not need older humans. Other areas I find mostly I am seen
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                      • I love the idea of being invisible, which is a skill that I have acquired over the decades. I believe that with so many things available to keep us entertained today then we all get tied up in our own worlds with little time for anyone else and it has very little to do with age. My wife and I have routines that we love to keep to. One of the routines that got broken meant that I did not go to the bank with my wife on one day of week part of our fortnightly ritual. The teller asked my wife where I was. You are noticed, just break one of your usual habits that involves contact with others and you may be surprised. Best to find freinds in a book or three.
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                        • I am not quite 60 yet. But I feel the same. Mist of the time it doesn't bother me . But for those that it does I would suggest being involved on your community. Whatever your interest. Whether it is community projects( like help organising community days,fundraising). We have sculptures by the sea,or 4 winds festival( music) as well as pop up art gallery's. Also for more active people we have reboot activity's,fun runs. Volunteer at all ability sports to help families with disabled,this includes cricket,tennis,surf lifesaving. Join a mediation or excersize class there are many that cater to age with offerings like gentle pilates ,or tai chi. There are also your rotary,charity's,churches,.even schools like to have volunteers if you have a working with children check to help at the library or read with the young. Get out there. Meet new people. And have fun. Hope that helps.
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                          • Even way before sixty one can experience just being a fly on the wall .. most of the time it's just hearing a lot of nonsense prattle each trying to outdo the other with their "expert knowledge" ... but the louder they talk the less anything of value they tend to impart ... actually don't mind being left out of those "conversations"..
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                            • I've never experienced this
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                              • At 76 I am mostly noticed, especially at Parkrun events
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                                • Do run Park the Run or Run the Park? ... as for me, my mind does all the running for me!!!
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                              • My mum is 76 and far from invisible, she is Kaumatua (Maori elder) and held in high esteem. Recognised for life experiences and knowledge. Age brings respect and recognition. She is often stopped in the street, visitors daily, meetings, funerals to attend (sign of respect)... You have to book an appointment to see your own mother lol. So in a way it's not bad being 'invisible'.
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                                • You are not invisible at all, that's just a devil tempting you to be insecure, Drive him away and live s joyful life.
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                                  • Too much going on here. I look after rescue dogs & take them out. People notice that you have different dogs at times, so always stop & talk. I take the dogs to Bunnings for learning different situations & the Bunnings crew always join in the socialisation sessions and lots of customers Participate too. It familiarises them with different people & things around them.
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                                    • I am 67 and I have not noticed that at all
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                                      • No I have not noticed it yet.
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                                        • I noticed it at 50. It’s not instantaneous obviously but when I recently reflected on how life feels so different after lockdown I realised this is why. So I’m still adjusting and trying to work out the next stage of life.
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                                          • I'm 58 but quite physically disabled and I am stopped many times while out running, metaphorically speaking, errands and people offer assistance in helping me. I don't know if I will be ignored when I am older but for now I am appreciative of my fellow humans who see me clearly! Thanks for reading.
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                                            • I haven’t noticed
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                                              • I am 72 and it has never been a problem for me or where I live we are all treated the same no matter how old you are its a lovely place to live in our small country town and if someone needs help they get it even if its some one you do not know I live a good active life
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                                                • Kate You need to be more affirmative in your actions. When we already have more over 60s than under 60s the little smart arse shits in a shopping store need yo be put in their place if they ignore you. Actions for you Kate Stand tall Speak in an authoritarian tone Dye you hair orange Get some bad ass tatts like dragons and skulls - no ok they can be the removable type. Wear younger clothing shorts and a t shirt obviously when it's warmer Get a funky hand bag Etc. To be honest with you Kate who gives a shit a about the snotty shop assistant and members of the general public. If you really wanna be noticed make some noise. Your welcome kate
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                                                  • I'm 82 and I have not noticed this. Maybe because I have a full life with playing sport, and life in general. I think you have to get out and into activities. It doesnt matter what.
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                                                    • Kate I hear you, I'm nearly 70 and have noticed it mainly in the shopping centres. No manners, please and thank you have gone out the window, I suppose we should not be surprised, it's the way of the world. I go to exercise physiology, church and keep close with family and friends. Remember you are a valuable member of society, and as a a mature lady you are entitled to respect and acknowledgment.
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                                                      • I don't think it just happens to seniors. General attitude now is all about "me".
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                                                      • TO TRUE>
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                                                      • verry true
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                                                    • No
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                                                      • Over 60 and now Invisible? How right you are, Kate F 393173! I don't agree that Shop Assistants don't see us for the problem is that there aren't enough of them! Everything has gone Self Service in the Supermarkets where some of them now have 15-20 Self Service Checkouts and just ONE Service one open, with just ONE staff member in the Self-Service area to look after 15-20 customers. When it comes to Surveys, inckuding those we get on Rewadia, though to be fair to Rewardia they only run the surveys for others and it is the others who decide who can take part. I have lost count of the 100s of surveys I have tried to take part in only to be Screened Out as soon as I enter my AGE and/or Gender, yet it is us who have the experience, the knowledge and, in many cases, the ability to remain unbiased, be honest, not give gibberish answers. Of course the people who are the worst of all are the Politicians. They blame us for everything. Australia's Health System is a scandalous disaster and has been for decades. The politicians blame the Elderly, the Ageing Population. They have been doing this for as long as I can remember but they, the very people who have the power to do something, do Nothing. In Australia they would rather kow-tow to the USA, China, England and join them in their illegal wars, invasions. I don't say the UK because, at present the UK is anything but United and, in any case the vast majority of politicians in the British Parliament are from England and not Scotland, Wales or the Occupied Territory of Northern Ireland.
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                                                        • No
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                                                          • Hi Kate, my husband was a very intelligent maths master who had private tutoring students long after he had retired from teaching and relieving. As he aged he did feel invisible and sadly became very depressed. Because he had been so involved with sports coaching and teaching and had a strong connection to his schools he found himself thinking that he was no longer a valued member of society. I find that there just aren't enough hours in the day and all of a sudden it's news time, perhaps the secret is to be busy with hobbies and clubs. Good luck
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                                                            • Since the pandemic staff at supermarkets behaviour has changed drastically. I still meet some lovely staff who are friendly and care.
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                                                              • Even doing surveys, a lot of them right you off if you're elderly. I have tried survey after survey and can't get one ounce I state my age.
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                                                                • This is true, but I've also noticed that I can get away with more now too.
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                                                                  • No Kate I haven't noticed this at all. I have on surveys but that has been mentioned. It is almost like you are too old to have an opinion. Have a good day and get out there Kate and enjoy your life. You have a lot to give I am sure and people will appreciate you.
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                                                                    • Hi Lyn 😁 have a great week....... 🖐️xx
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                                                                    • The same to you Mopos. Mr L thanks you for the coffee it was delivered early this morning. Take care. xx 🤩
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                                                                    • MoposLyn 78550
                                                                      Mr L is welcome, only the best will do! xxxx
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                                                                  • I amm in my late 70's and have noticed this when out shopping and in public. Maybe some of the invisibility comes from my rather shy personality which shows more since I retired to look after my partner full time three years ago. However as far as surveys or writing emails etc. are concerned, I have not had any problems - maybe I can express myself better because I can consider what I want to say and am more confident.
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                                                                    • I'm invisible? I always wanted a super power . . . I'll have to take advantage of that!
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                                                                      • I found when I turned sixty I dissappered just became invisible. However, on turning seventy five, everything changed again. I became the go to for information, people moved over so I could get served first and helped me off busses etc. I would love now to become invisible again so I can do things for myself.
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                                                                        • en s'approchant et leur poser la question êtes vous libre
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                                                                          • I am 83, this never happens to me, maybe you do not get out much!
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                                                                            • Good question and my answer is I don't want to be noticed. I would rather get in and out of a shop without some one in my face asking if they can help me, I will came and find them if I need help. Normal we know what we want find it and then go pay for it. Quick and easy and then back home. Where I want to be.
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                                                                              • Rob a bank that will get you noticed
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                                                                                • If you are lucky enough to be able to get inside and then they probably don't have any cash anyway.
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                                                                              • Somewhat in a similar vein, my wife's aunt developed MS and used a wheelchair. We noticed how often wait staff would ask us what she wanted to order, assuming she was unable to speak for herself.
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                                                                                • Haven't noticed
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                                                                                  • I don't know yet.
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                                                                                    • Not quite there...
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                                                                                      • Yes most definitely, if I happen to be shopping and need assistance I generally have to ask for help.
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                                                                                        • sometimes I do not want to be noticed esp since I have just past the 70 mark. I am noticed now because I am in a wheelchair and people get out of my way but I long fo the days before 60
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                                                                                          • What are you on about? I'm 90 and still get recognized. I live a normal life and don't shut myself away
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                                                                                            • What do you want from people? Just say hello or something. People will likely respond unless they are in a terrible mood or whatever else could be going on with them. People tend to avoid strangers and chit chat in general, people are busy, but in the past I've had some older folk strike up conversation with me a couple of times at bus stops etc and I didn't mind talking to them. Maybe they did it because they experienced the same feelings you are experiencing. I have no idea, I used to look a bit "rough" and was surprised they would talk to me to be honest but it's a good reminder that we are all similar in certain ways.
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                                                                                              • You don't need to be noticeable to anyone who does not value your existence. Enjoy your AGE
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                                                                                                • If this picture is actually of you, I would certainly notice you. Probably ask you for a date?
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                                                                                                  • I don't let it bother me actually. I usually say "excuse me" then tell them that if they are lucky they too will be old one day.
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                                                                                                    • Just be myself
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                                                                                                      • I haven’t even thought about it
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                                                                                                        • Just about true, no one is caring or helpful, or wants to engage with you anymore much.
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                                                                                                          • Just turn 60 dont have that problem I just ask for help no problems
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                                                                                                            • Well not there yet but thanks for the update
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                                                                                                              • It is horrible when you feel invisible to others, like you don't matter. Make yourself heard, stand strong if people rushing through you, The only person to stand up to this invisibility is ourselves.
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                                                                                                                • yes i have it is very annoying even doing survey as soon as you put you age in you are dropped out
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                                                                                                                  • That’s not because you are invisible or old. It’s because you are not in the age group to be affected by the issue they are seeking responses on. It happens the other way round too. Young people are screened out of surveys that focus on issues affecting older people.
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                                                                                                                • If the marketers or researchers are after a particular age group that’s not ageist necessarily. They may want the opinions of parents of young children or nightclubbers etc. The rest of society is definitely however. After 40 is more like it too.
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                                                                                                                  • I can't work,I find alot of the time that's what I get screened out for,or the quota for my situation is full.
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                                                                                                                  • BiscuitDanielle R 478487
                                                                                                                    I can’t work either and also get screened out a lot. However if a company is after feedback or research on say baby food, toys, acne products etc, we simply won’t fit the criteria. That’s not ageist. That’s just not suitable for the surveys purpose.
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                                                                                                                  • yes,totally agree. Some of the higher payout surveys want people with alot higher income than me,i don't get offended if I am screened out. But I would like to see more of the lo ger surveys I do have a reward similar Ti the effort I put in.
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                                                                                                                • Seems way too low to me as people are living longer and buying things for far longer. But I can say about 40 years ago I had to pull out a bunch of $50.00 nots and fan myself with them to get a shop assistant to serve me they where far too busy talking and ignoring everyone else in the shop .
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                                                                                                                  • Ha, I would have done a jul i a Roberts and shopped elsewhere, but only after flashing the money...ha ha too late
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                                                                                                                  • Colin L 88398Rusty .. (vic)
                                                                                                                    Only trouble with that was it was the only place that had the printer cartridges within about 40 Klicks didn't really have much in the way of options.
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                                                                                                                • no you are important to all Kate
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                                                                                                                  • nope age is a but a number ...if u FEEL old u will act old....and if u feel disempowered....others will walk all over u or treat u as you are not there.... xx stand up for urself no matter what age u r...but dont feel u r 'entitled'..(just cos ur older)...bc thats just as bad.
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                                                                                                                    • I see that in surveys as mentioned. I also see that keeping your sense of humor helps. I thamkfully do not need all that much help at the store etc. I try to be helpful and it comes back to you. We gave a man a can of fix a flat today and he was most grateful. Well best of luck.
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                                                                                                                      • Yes hate it when you go up to a counter and no one acknowledges you as they are busy. Doesn't take a minute to either nod or say I'll be with you in a minute. This does not apply to just seniors my daughter also experiences it as well. The shop assistants are not trained correctly these days.
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                                                                                                                        • If one feels you are invisible to younger people, its as much your fault as theirs. Make them aware of you and FEEL important and people wil treat you that way. In my eighties now, I've never thought that... of course you are important so FEEL it.
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                                                                                                                          • no I haven't noticed. that I'm invisible in shops but I do feel invisible with my family at times. Sometimes surveys don't need older people to do their surveys they can make you feel a bit that way.at times as well😀
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                                                                                                                            • Hold your head up and appear confident, it works wonders.
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                                                                                                                              • Absolutely, Kate, and women seem to be treated even worse than men in this regard.
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                                                                                                                                • Not noticed. 60 is the new 40. It is not classed as old.
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                                                                                                                                  • The question is why do you want to be noticed?
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                                                                                                                                    • Probably to get served at the deli counter🥴
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                                                                                                                                    • Yes - I am wondering the same thing.
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                                                                                                                                  • Haven't noticed apart from being judged as you have grey hair. Don't think of myself as old being over 60
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                                                                                                                                    • Me either ......... and I am 76. haha
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                                                                                                                                  • I'm not 60 yet, but I do know that of which you speak. As a woman of a certain shape, I get ignored all the time. I'm definitely a "behind the scenes" person. It's not that I want to be in the spotlight. I deserve respect like everyone else. I am so tired of everyone judging each other. You don't know me or my life. Just like I don't know you.
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                                                                                                                                    • Been there, done that. 16 years ago.
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                                                                                                                                      • That's OK. By the time you are in your 80s not only are you not noticed, you become invisible. They send you little notes of how good their retirement villages are, I'm still here still gardening, still cooking and hey I can still vote, still laugh with friends and silly me, I'm still here in Rewardia. So there.
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                                                                                                                                        • That's because you're still cool Pat ! ;)
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                                                                                                                                      • Just make yourself heard if someone upsets you or doesn't listen, go higher up in a company... Everyone deserves fairness and respect
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                                                                                                                                        • Fall over, they will come to your aid. Serve you and help you out of the shop.
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                                                                                                                                          • am still feel the same as when I first arrived OZ 24years of age. Feels young at heart and checking out clothing at teenage shops. Who cares : ))
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                                                                                                                                            • Yes. First it bothered me, than I got used to it, then I ignored it. Greeting people, smiling at them seem to be eye-opening and anyway, kind.
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                                                                                                                                              • Yes, and I also suddenly realises that ALL people who are accompanied by a guide dog are unfortunately mute and deaf while a 'sighted' person is with them
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                                                                                                                                                • Same in our experience with spouse being in wheelchair..people often shout at him like he is deaf. He hates that.
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                                                                                                                                                • Atleastthey shout atH IM ,in my case they either cheer fullytalk to my dog or sk nosey questions of my biped companion,
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                                                                                                                                              • Definitely. Older people seem to be polite and wait their turn. This enables younger people, in a hurry, to walk up and launch straight into their request as if there is no one waiting patiently to be served. People seem to see first the person that puts themselves forward. No one walks on the left now or smiles when they pass you on the street. Those people on their phones or with air pods probably do not see the invisible ones - they are so inward looking and self-absorbed.
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                                                                                                                                                • I'm in my 50's and like to fly under the radar, so being invisible while out and about totally wouldn't bother me at all. But if you really want to be noticed Kate why don't you volunteer or join a club or group where others have similar interests to you and always have a smile :) Good luck!
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                                                                                                                                                  • It suits me fine as I really dislike people anyway.
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                                                                                                                                                    • I’m not a people person but yes when you put your age in they instantly think old ! People say are you 60 you don’t look 60 . Is this a disease being 60 ? My response is oh your 35 you don’t act like it , or just think in 35 years your going to be 70 ,
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                                                                                                                                                      • I don't really notice as I think I rather like being invisible.
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                                                                                                                                                        • Yes even over 40 sometimes I feel it
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                                                                                                                                                          • I also think as a society we have changed,most of us have adapted to the new tech available.So interactions are different. Most of my family use txt, video calls,Facebook to catch up with people. They make new friends from instagram etc. It's a different world.
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                                                                                                                                                            • I’m 52 and I prefer to be invisible to most people.
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                                                                                                                                                              • You will encounter that in the medical field from Drs. judging accordingly also
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                                                                                                                                                                • Actually no - I have not experienced here in Perth Australia. I am 76.
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                                                                                                                                                                  • Sorry - this has not been my experience. I will turn 80 soon and I have not felt I am not noticed. Usually I wish I wasn't noticed as much
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                                                                                                                                                                    • Look good and feel great
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                                                                                                                                                                      • I'll be 61 in December. As a caterer, I have a uniform which is a long black apron and a chef's cap. In supermarkets I'm not seen as an elderly person, but someone who's actually working. I get quick help from the staff of every place I shop, and I don't bother to take off the apron until I reach home.
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                                                                                                                                                                        • What a great idea Robert. Many,many years ago I worked in the gaming and bistro section of a large establishment mainly serving those who were on gaming machines( dont think that's allowed anymore). I seriously doubt my work clothes would fit now though .lol. I also have my birthday in December,week before Christmas.
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                                                                                                                                                                      • It’s all a within feeling, no matter what age you are, if you feel good about yourself, & internally within, you won’t even notice that feeling! Otherwise go out, enjoy your day….ask questions to people, smile to people, acknowledge people. Connectivity!! You are labelling an age…. That’s your problem, dwelling on your age, …..!!! Lol 🙏🌻
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                                                                                                                                                                        • haaa i'll tell you how.. go out with a friend or family member and their puppy into garden centre. Dog decides to squat and poop in the middle of the store. Everyone notices.
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                                                                                                                                                                          • When I got a dog I found myself chatting with other dog owners on my daily walks, even if you are just the person at the end of the leash, you get your daily dosage of social interaction :)
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                                                                                                                                                                            • Having just joined a new social group no I don’t feel that way.
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