The fact is that people do have lives, and unless we can accept more able bodied adults leaving work and relying on welfare have at it! While there are definitely adult children who “warehouse” elderly parents out of self interest sometimes it’s not a matter of just “going back to the workplace” but having to. Same with daycare and for single parents in receipt of welfare it’s a work test requirement when children reach a certain age.

People have to make the choices that are right for them. Sometimes careers and work responsibilities take priority over what we'd rather be doing.

Do onto others as you would have others do onto yourself, including your children? You do make a very good point Ramsha! Thumbs up to you for posting an enlightening topic! :-)

No comparison.Day care for children can be a learning experience.Age care can be a good experience ,depends on the level of care the person needs.

Of course

The ones in day care are only there for a while each day...sadly the older dependents don't have this luxury

Don't agree with that assumption at all.

Neither my children nor my grandchildren went into care. When needed, my children were looked after by my parents. When needed, my grandchildren are looked after by me. Just recently my grandchildren told me that when I can't look after myself I will be going to live with them. I thanked them and said we will discuss that when the time comes.

In this day and age you don't have much choice I don't think. Its like the conversation about house wives the other day. If it is possible for someone to stay home and help care for their elderly relatives then that's great but not always a possibility. As well with the elderly comes medical conditions which may need additional support services unavailable at home. My grandmother is about to go in to care. She has advanced dementia and it is now unsafe for her to be at home even with family care and social support, she needs a secure environment with nursing and medical staff available. Each individuals circumstance is different.

Just remember what you answer, as we all grow older our families will be left with the same decisions for us one day. I don’t want say care or nursing home? What about you

Day care is not the ideal - if at all possible a parent or grandparent should look after a child at home, and preferably the child should look after a parent at home although I guess if they need nursing that would be harder, although there are lots of options for aged care at home these days. A child would rather have Mum than more money so don't be selfish.

We all have personal responsibility for ourselves to decide what care we might prefer to have. Children grow up and have their own lives. Personally I would not expect family to take responsibility for me.

Having been a visitor in two Aged Institutions - yes we visited our loved ones every day - I won't call Homes or that the even offer much Care. here is roughly the daily routine Get ip in the morning, walk a few paces to the bathroom, dress then either walk or have someone who wants to hurry you along put you into a wheelchair and run you to the Dining area. Then you walk or are pushed either back to your room or the communal sitting area. Wlak a couple of paces to a chair. Sit and remain sitting until you walk or are pushed back to the Dining area. Then the fun begins! You are taken to the Occupational Area wher you sit again and draw or paint dinky little pictures, then it is off to Communal Physiotherapy. once agian you either walk or to save the staff time you are put into that damned wheelchair again and wheeled there. Communal Physiotherapy area. A circle of chairs and you sit in one, you arte then given two pieces of flimsy coloured material, so light it would be almost impossible to weigh them. You a

Again this topic is like many previous money issue. If you have money you can stay with kids at home as well as you can take care of old parents at home if you can afford not to work or pay someone to come to your home to help you.

Yes

As i was a personal carer for 19yrs i think the residents appreciate the help that they need, as we see them everyday just like we are family and it brightens up their day.

l look forward to go into a nursing home where l get fed, read, watch TV, showered once a week, play games and have people to talk to. l won't have to worry about rent or mortgage, utility and cost of living. lt sounds like heaven.

No, I don't agree with that. My daughter was in early kinder while we both worked. When you have a situation where you need 2 incomes, what else can you do> It's not like we're a community with helping hands everywhere

You put children in day care because you have to work not because you're abandoning them. And some old folks do help out with their grandchildren. Yes, it's really sad that some end up in aged care but when they suffer from things like dementia, it's necessary to have supervision.

I can’t relate to day care personally but we provided care over 3 years to our grandson when he was growing up,now we admitted my mother in law to aged care facility as she was living on her own receiving home care but she fell so many times it was decided to put her in respite care to see if it suited her,she enjoyed the company it’s the best thing we did,we see her regularly take her out for coffee & at 97 she is doing well.

Ramsha I believe that these are two different issues. I can see where you are coming from however if one sends their children to day care, and no offence given to those who do, it sometimes is just for money and necessary. however to each their own on this. I believe however, if your children are raised right that they will look after their parents but this can be compromised with whom they marry and different circumstances that one cannot see in life. I have a 63 year old Down's Syndrome sister in a lovely nursing home. She had a stroke and due to being wheelchair bound it was not possible to have her at our homes. Between my other 2 sisters and I we visit her 6 times per week and she is happy, as are we, with the level of care that she is given and also her outings. There has been a lot of bad press about nursing homes however this one is a gem. I did look after my mother in our home for 10 years before she died and it was a pleasure to give back to her what she had given to us all her life. Edited 24-Jan-21 11:42am

We have day care at home as we are elderly. So our Day care will probably lead to an aged care facility. Just wanted to put a different slant on the question

dont think so

No it is just teaching some people that work is more important than Family. Why should anyone be surprised when they follow what their parents taught them as children?

I don't think the two are related.

Not something I have given any thought to .... my children only spent one day a week in care as I was a stay at home mum until they started school then I worked 3/4 days a week .... I’m now looking after my grand daughter 2 days a week so my daughter could go back to work part time .... does she owe me yea BIG TIME ??

I don't think like this - I would discus aged care for me with my children before making any decision

Yes it good to have menu helpers makes liter work I just wish people would be nicer to themselves and others the world has to much negative there should be more people ask ing what the older what no one what's to be alone or die alone

It's really not the same thing at all...

Yes every one needs a brake from others I just wish they would pay the worker's more and have better things for the older

No it does not justify that we took care of them all of their lives and they can put away and forget us like a bit of trash.

I don't think it's a tit for tat situation. It's not use getting grey hairs worrying about what they might do to us when we get old as it just might suit us to be in care and they are free to visit without feeling guilty. Being in care can be a stable situation and not to have to worry what to do with is if they or their children get sick "where to stash the oldies" or who can come and look after them. Life is ONE BIG JUGGLING ACT until the final curtain call.

It all depends on the situation

i do meals on wheels and a lot of the people i help love being in there haose ase they still feel and helthy they are still have a good mind and i enjoy talking to them as yes i might be the only one the see for the day it,s a insight that i might be in this situation one day

"Horses For Courses"!

Depends on the care that is required. I myself would prefer a aged care home as I would not want to burden my children. They have a right to live their lives to the fullest as I have done myself. A day visit to their home every now and then would be lovely.

Not always

SOME PEOPLE ARE WELL AJUSTED WITH HOME HELP AND DO NOT NEED TOO MUCH CARE

I would have said that a few weeks ago but I have a new friend whose parents are in well into their 90s. They are well cared for at home with various groups of helpers coming in each day. Hurray.

I'm not a big fan of how we have structured society so that "care" needs to be provided from outside the whanau/family, whether that's care of children or care of elderly.

I like idea having day care for old peoples. As long not to much money. Its a good ways to get old peoples out of the place. I think all day care from children to adults should be free

What about aged day care? That would seem very fair and great for all parties

As you sow , that you ripe This is natural justice

Sounds reasonable that they may

It depends on where you’re coming from in the first place. If it’s just a matter of convenience so that you can pursue your own interests, then that probably will turn around and work against you, as those are the values you have demonstrated to your children. However, if you go into childcare through researching what is best for your child emotionally, intellectually, developmentally, etc, yet still invest time into them when you are with them at home because you have researched the value of quality parental input with your kids, you are demonstrating values of genuine care and consideration that you can probably expect to be reciprocated later in life.

it's hard thing to do but sometimes we can not look after them because of work and family commitments and the health problems that older people get

"fraid so!

It very well could do....

No. Different stages of life. In addition, my children cannot put me anywhere if I don’t agree. I used day care, but when they didn’t like it, limited the days, hours they had to be there, being with them as much as I could.

GREAT QUESTION! One, I don't have kids (children) - my choice and decision. Two, my parents (stepfather and my biological mother) - are maybe dead (because I am the oldest of my siblings - including the ones I never met - and I am old). IF my parents are stay alive - I will not be spending one cent on their care - in any type of care for aged parents. Obvious, I do not have a good (or passable) relationship with my parents on any level! Still, a GREAT QUESTION!! I belief in what goes around comes back to haunt you - when you are at your most vulnerable moment combined with you are not making money AND your kids (children) despite you (parents). Obvious, if you were a good parent (?!) - you not going to end up - any type of care for the elderly and/or disabled (parents) - you will be living with your kids (children). Still a GREAT QUESTION!!Edited 24-Jan-21 01:29am